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Spoiler

[...] some choices a bit weird, considering they are not really explored at all (I'm mostly refering to the crossed out 3 for "chapter" 4).

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Spoiler

The crossed-out chapter is just a small visual joke. Loopy is writing the text and since she isn't the most brilliant student and rather messy in general, she's the kind of person who wouldn't bother checking if the chapters are in the right order. That's also why the epilogue is chapter 5, despite coming after chapter 6. Just a silly joke that makes me laugh, but probably no one else 

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[SNICK-SNICK]

I enjoyed pretty much all the entries. My thoughts on them below.

SNICK-SNICK

Spoiler

I really enjoyed this story. The two characters are well-characterised (that's a tongue twister ) and their interactions are fun to read. The ending is a nice twist. Is Simon's surname a reference to the Bell test?

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The Color of Home

Spoiler

A very nice read. I think the text captures well the kids' voices and the way they speak. It makes you feel like you're in a classroom, listening to them. I also enjoyed how, through their conversation, you slowly understood the story's world.

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Her Father's Wish

Spoiler

I think it's the one that fits the theme the best, as described in Baron's post.
I like how the real nature of the genie is left ambiguous and the story is warm and positive, in the end. It's a bit too "sentimental" for my tastes, but that's just personal preference -- and even that fits the theme.

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My votes:

Spoiler

SNICK-SNICK 3
The Color of Home 4
Her Father's Wish 3

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lorenzo, do you happen to have a link to your other story with these characters? I'd like to refresh my memory.

Sure! The story is here. Although it's not necessary to have read it, in order to read the new one.

[Loopy & Doofy and the Case of the Stolen Cookies]

Since my last entry with these characters was such a huge success (?), I made another one, while everybody is eagerly (??) waiting for the comic book version of these stories to finally be out. It'll happen, sooner or later. Probably later.

Loopy & Doofy and the Case of the Stolen Cookies

Spoiler

1. Theft!

It was a day like any other at the Interplanetary School for Non-Gifted Kids -- which means: boring as heck. Suddenly, a scream pierced the air!
It sounded like: "Aaaah" but more terrifying. I mean, you should've been there to hear it, like I was. Freaking annoying too, especially since it came from the desk next to mine and it felt like it broke my left eardrum.

It was Doofy, my deskmate and best friend, who was screaming her lungs out.
"What could've happened?", the beautiful and heroic Loopy (that's me, by the way) asked herself, while running to her friend as fast as she could! Don't know why I'm speaking in third person, let's switch to first.
I ran there as fast as I could. Actually, I was already sitting there. No need for running.
"What happened, Doofy?!", I asked, distressed. Way to spoil my school break nap!
Last time she screamed like that, a bee had stung her and those things are not fun. They leave their butt-stinger inside you and it's as painful as disgusting. I mean, a bee butt. Can't be too clean.
By the way, I had brought the bee for the science hour that day -- and showing the professor what remained of the insect after it was splatted under Doofy's right thigh didn't give me the greatest grades. But I digress.

Luckily, it wasn't a bee sting this time. It was... theft!
"Someone has stolen my cookies!", Doofy shouted, pointing at the missing cookies. I mean, I don't know how you can point at something that is missing, but somehow that's what she was doing. That's why she has all the good grades at school, I guess.
"I haven't seen your cookies", I said, defensively. "Of course, if they were stolen, they're difficult to see", I added, in an outburst of cunningtude. Cunningness? You know what I mean. Sometimes I'm so smart, I surprise myself.
We searched under the desk and in the surroundings, but no trace of the cookie was there. Nilch.

2. An investigation starts

"No one is going to help us in this situation," I said, resolutely. "There's nothing left to do, Doofy, but to put on our thinking cat, whatever that is, and start investigating. I'll be the detective!"
"And I'll be your Watson!"
"My... what?"
"Sherlock Holmes's associate, of course."
"Who?" I asked. Sometimes Doofy has these weird bits of knowledge that no one else knows about. That girl reads too much. "Anyway, let's start from the start. What have you lost?"
"A pack of cookies."
"Describe it to me."
"It was a pack. It contained cookies."
Even for a shrewd detective like me, it wasn't much to go on.
"Where did you see it last time?"
Doofy pointed at her desk. "I left it here, but it could've fallen, or someone took it, I guess."
"Maybe even both!" I said. Boy, what an intuition! "My God, what is this school becoming?! First, they make us study. Then, they steal our stuff!"
"What is this world coming to, Loopy?"
"I'm not sure."
"It was a rhetorical question."

3. A suspect

"I know who did it!" There was certainty in my mind. "It was Clarissa". I pointed at her with my inclined head, so that the fiend couldn't notice me.
"Clarissa? How could you tell?"
"Two words, Doofy: the duction! First of all, she's a hoodie."
"A what?"
"A hoodie. A criminal. The lowest of the low."
"A hoodlum? If she's a hoodlum, so are you".
"I'm not!" I felt miffed. Stabbed in the back by my very best friend!
"You received five suspensions this term," Doofy was counting on her fingers. "You spend more time at the principal's office than in the classroom."
"I just thought he enjoyed my company!"
"You're a hoodlum, Loopy." concluded Doofy, mercilessly.
"Oh well, that means I can recognise the criminal element. And Clarissa, she's one!"
"One element?"
"One criminal. Let's go pose her some questions. Discreetly."

3. 4. Interrogation

We tiptoed stealthily towards Clarissa, who was chatting with her sister in a corner of the classroom.
"Look at her", my voice was a whisper. "The shape of her head, the evil gaze, that unruly clump of hair on the top of her head... The skull of a true ruffian -- she would make Lombroso happy!"
"I think she looks cute." replied poor, naive Doofy. What would that kid do without me guiding her through life?
Clarissa stopped her conversation, turned, and stared at us: a pair of beady, wicked eyes.
"...yes? Do you need something, Loopy?"
"Where were you this morning, before school break started?" I hit her with the tough questions. I learned this trick from a detective comic book and it never fails.
"Where do you think I was, you doofus? At my desk, listening to the professor blabber about equations." Her annoyance was a sign of guilt if I ever saw one. "What is this? An interrogation?"
"Exactly!" I exclaimed. "Admit it! It's you who ate Doofy's cookies, as revenge for me owing you money! We're onto you."
"That makes no sense." Clarissa scratched her head. "If that were the case, I would've eaten your snack, not Doofy's."
"I don't think so." intervened Doofy. "Have you seen what she normally eats?"

5. Stumped

That interrogation turned out to be a failure. But that's how the cookie crumbles (I was waiting the entire time to say that).
"This is one of the hardest cases of my detective career," I admitted.
"It's the only case of your career, Loopy."
"Doesn't make it less true."

This investigation was taxing my brain. My body too. I must've burned thousands of calories, whatever those are.
I searched my pockets and found some of that energetic muesli I was munching on that morning, and popped them down my gullet when someone screamed! (you know it's a tense story when a lot of people scream)
"Those are my cookies!!!" shouted Doofy, pointing an accusatory finger toward me.
"What?", I more or less said, with my mouth full. "This powder with bits of chocolate?"

6. Resolution

"Where did you get that packet?" Doofy was like a hound on its prey.
"I found it on my chair, under my bum," I explained. "I thought it was the muesli I bought last week and forgot under the desk."
"Those were my cookies! You sat on them all morning until they crumbled apart."
"Oh." I thought about it. "I guess you're right. That's why sitting was so uncomfortable."
I shook the packet and a few solitary crumbles fell to the floor, like autumn leaves (poetic, huh?). It was empty.
"Sorry, Doofy. I guess I ate it all by now, eh? Tell you what, I can give you my snack instead."
"Which is...?"
Opening my backpack revealed a tasty sandwich. "Ham, orange jam, and this white stuff."
"Er... what's that?"
"No idea. I found it wriggling inside the fridge this morning. Here, it's all yours!"
"No, thanks," said Doofy. "Maybe the vending machine will have some snacks..."

5. Epilogue

"What are you doing, Loopy?"
"I'm writing down a report of our investigation," I explained. "I thought it might be useful for  future generations."
"Ooh, like Murder, She Wrote!" exclaimed Doofy.
"What? Is that another one of your books?!"

That girl sometimes worries me.

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[Results!]

Results!

This was a close one!

The winner is Baron, with 6 points!
Closely followed by Sinitrena, with 5.
And then Mandle, whose stories got 2 points each (4 points total).

Thanks to everyone who participated and voted!
Also, sorry Stupot if I didn't wait for your vote, I just wanted to close the contest so we can have a new one.

[Sinitrena]

It seems like we have a tie between Sinitrena's Jenna Levinston and Baron's The Flame That Burns, both with 4 votes each (unless I counted wrong and knowing me, it could happen ).

Can someone help us solve this tie by adding an extra vote?

[You! Yes, you, scrolling through the posts!]

You! Yes, you, scrolling through the posts! Do you feel like reading some creepy and entertaining short stories, and then votes the ones you liked best? It'll take 10 minutes to read them all! Thanks

So, first of all, thanks to all who have joined the contest! I enjoyed each one of the stories. I won't vote, but here are my impressions of them:

Jenna Levinston

Spoiler

I really liked the narrating voice in this one. It gave the idea of an oral story told in front of a campfire, including digressions and interruptions.
The "---" replies felt unsettling in an understated way.
The ending was kind of expected, but that's not a negative and it works well.
Good story!

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Burnt Marshmallows

Spoiler

The short length of the story makes it very creepy. It gives you enough information to tell a story, but lets your mind fill the rest. Great example how only a few sentences can give you a whole picture.
Good stuff!

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The Flame That Burns

Spoiler

A very enjoyable story, it captures well the feeling of being in front of a campfire listening to ghost tales. The idea and descriptions of fire were very interesting and the ending was expected (again, that's not a bad thing in this case!), but good.
A very fun read!

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Six Words

Spoiler

I find your other story to be more interesting. You can interpret this one in many ways, but I guess I'm too lazy for that I think the format is just not for me, but it's still interesting.

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[Deadline for voting:]

Oops! Sorry, I forgot to add it to the post. I put in the title of the post... the wrong one 

Deadline for voting: Friday, August 23rd.

It makes sense, thanks!

[Voting time!]

Voting time!

Vote 2 points for your favorite, and 1 point for your runner-up.

The stories are:

• Jenna Levinston - Sinitrena
• Burnt Marshmallows - Mandle
• The Flame That Burns - Baron
• Six Words - Mandle again

Deadline: August 23rd.

I'm not sure how it works for counting votes when you have two votes from the same person...? Let me know, FWC experts!

Also...
Please note!
Voting is open to everyone! The stories are all short and entertaining, so remember you can vote even if you didn't take part in the contest. Also, feedback on the stories is welcome!

I'm always amazed when I see all the fantastic non-adventure games that people can create with the engine!
I forgot to add that the rain effect works nicely and creates a cool atmosphere. Also, the impact at 1.12: great stuff! Very punchy. Keep up the good work!

ps: I've seen you did such an amazing game with CaptainD, congrats!!!   Sorry I am late but your graphics always looks so stunning, please keep it up!! ❤️

Thank you very much! Still some stuff left to do for that game, but we're slowly but surely approaching the finish line.

Great to see more entries! I'll read them all once the contest is over.
Speaking of that... today is the last day. If anyone is still writing their story, hurry up!

I think it looks already pretty awesome! The animations are smooth, and the platforming looks good with several movement options, it has already the basis for a fun game. It's hard to tell how responsive movement is without playing the game, but it seems to work very well in the video.

The combat, however, doesn't seem to have much impact. There's no response when the player gets hit (no flashing of the sprite, no getting knocked back, etc), nor when the player hits the enemy. You need to add more "punch" to the combat so that it feels impactful. Otherwise the player could not even realise he's getting hit.

Also, you need to add some sort of effect / sound effect to actions like picking up the keycard, the player might miss it otherwise.

Design-wise, I think that the stairs at 1:46 should be visible when the player jumps on the platform, otherwise he won't be able to understand the puzzle (i.e. there's a machine, but what does it do?). Alternatively, you could have something (cables that go up, etc) that makes the player want to look up, and shows the connection between the machine and the stairs.

Other than that, it's really promising!

Nice to see an entry 

How are the rest of you doing? If you need more time, let me know!

[Baron & Mandle:]

Baron & Mandle: that's great to hear! Looking forward to reading your stories, have fun writing them 

Thank you, Baron!
Hope you'll be able to join the new FWC 

[Campfire Story]

Campfire Story

You're camping with your friends in the woods. It's night, the forest is dark, you're all huddled around the fire... it's your turn to tell a spooky story!

Rules:
- No word limit, but keep it short enough so that the others don't fall asleep and accidentally burn themselves in the fire
- If you want, you can just write a spooky story, or you can include the campfire context in the story itself: i.e. tell the story of someone telling a story at the campfire. Or have other people interrupt the narrator, if the story is too boring. Be as creative as you want!

But most importantly, have fun and good luck!

Deadline: Saturday 17th August.

Thanks! I'll try to find a (hopefully) fun new theme in the next days.

[Sinitrena]

Thank you both for the feedback, it's really useful.
My thoughts on the stories:

Sinitrena

Spoiler

I couldn't get much into the story. I found it hard to make a connection with the two characters, since they both act arrogantly (and the archmage is sometimes annoyingly dumb, doubting everything he's told even in front of overwhelming evidence -- and having had many decades to reflect as well).

The story starts well in medias res, making the initial mystery very appealing: who is the Shadow, what happened to the city, what has magic done to it? Unfortunately, the rest of the story felt overly long and not as effective.

The constant use of the anaphora also got tiring quickly. This kind of figure of speech (and repetition in general) should be used sparingly in my opinion, especially in prose. It loses its effect quickly and becomes tiresome.
It feels like every other sentence goes like this (some examples, to show what I mean, quoting different passages):

Had someone cut off the arm? Or had they stayed until death, merciful death, freed them? Had they pulled away? Had the magic sliced through the flesh?

Because I know how to do it, while you do not. Because I understand what you do not. Because I – Because I understand the nature of this spell and you do not, no matter what you want to believe

Don't you see? Don't you see that it will work? Don't you see that I have to do this?

However, I did find the descriptions of the effects of magic on the city to be quite striking and the best parts of the story for me. They're very effective and quite chilling too.
In general, there are a lot of good ideas in the story, but its execution didn't work for me.

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Baron

Spoiler

This was a quirky and weird story, but very funny: I found the narrating voice really engaging. However, the last section came too suddenly, then the story ended abruptly. But other than that, I happily read it!

So, because the story kept me entertained the entire time and it was such a fun read, I voted for it.

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I assume we just write our votes in a post, right? Unless I missed a poll

My votes:

Spoiler

Baron: 2 points
Sinitrena: 1 point.

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When I can, I'll write my impressions on the stories, in a further post.