How to be really annoying...

[Stupot]

Some may remember a little while ago I threatened to make an AGS game loosely based on 'How to be a Complete Bastard'.  Well I plan to resurrect this little project over summer while I've got a bit of spare time.  But I need your help:

The puzzles all basically consist of the main character doing really nasty and annoying things to people.  He's a jerk... a complete bastard... but I don't want to just steal ideas from HTBACB.  I've come up with a number of original puzzles based on traditional pranks and some toilet humour (nothing too disgusting, I want it to be a fun (and if possible, challenging) game, not a gross-out fest.

But I thought I'd give you guys the chance to come up with some original and creative ideas for pranks, and general anti-social behaviour to include in the game.  Any ideas? Leave them in this thread and if I like it I'll write it into the design.

Cheers guys.

[arrr]

I heard a story abou a guy in the army once. Something like...

He's alligning the cannon with the wheels and levers for about 5 minutes, while his comrades are watching him. He adjusts it by the book, then goes to try a test shot. The shot misses the mark by a significant margin. He goes back to align the cannon again. He reads the instructions carefully again, adjusts the wheels and levers. He goes for another test shot. The shot misses again. He's stumped now.

He goes back. Adjusts the cannon. Shoots. Misses. OK, he's irritated now.

He goes back. Adjusts the cannon. Shoots. Misses. Mad.

He goes back. Adjusts the cannon. Shoots. Misses. Fuming.

And all the while his comrades laugh and make funny comments.

He goes for another test shot...and one of his comrades goes to the wheels and the levers and turn and pulls a few at random so the guy doesn't notice. =D

Or the famous whisper thing...

A few friends gather and talk. One person whispers something in the ear of another. They both start laughing and pointing fingers at the poor target. The second one whispers something to the first person and they start laughing again. The target is suspicious and mad. He doesn't know what they are whispering about.

Actually they don't whisper about anything at all. They just make fun of the guy for no reason.

Alternativelly you could use the poke routine. The target is working, and you just keep anoying him while he's occupied untill he explodes.

Sorry for the bad English, I hope you catch my mean-ing. =D

[Jared]

* An ad here in Australia took the banana in the exhaust pipe idea to another level by having the car, illogically, explode in a gigantic fireball killing the guy inside which is the kind of comedy carnage I enjoy.

* In The Office (American version) one of Jim's stunts that is only verbally referred to in passing is filling Dwight's phone receiver gradually with coins over the course of the day, and then removing them during the lunch break so that he hit himself in the head next time he answered the phone.

* Something I enjoyed doing was when eavesdropping on a conversation (It's habitual, I have good hearing and I can't help it... at least that's my excuse. People shouldn't talk so loud) when somebody said something really dull (the one I remember was 'the thing was... it wasn't actually filmed in Thailand") shouting "OH MY GOD, YOU JUST CAN'T BE SERIOUS!" The subject may even turn violent.

* My dad once convinced a man after he had swallowed a fishbone that if he excited himself too much, his bloodpressure would accelerate and drive the fishbone through his heart, so he should avoid any sudden, quick and unnecessary movements at all. What made this especially funny was the fact the guy had a motorbike and had to try and kickstart it without moving quickly.

* My scripture teacher recounted the old trick of embedding matchsticks into blackboard dusters, so that when they're scraped across the board the teacher can end up holding a ball of flame. (Could probably work with a broom on the pavement or any number of things)

* Of course, some sort of hidden rope between the bumper bar of a car and an ideally ornately decorated mailbox, so when they pull out it is COMPLETELY DESTROYED. That's an old one again, I'm sure.

* Stealing somebody's mobile phone just to change the time, language and send offensive text messages to all of their contacts is a simple one.

* For a while in my school it was popular to annoy people by tying knots with their bag straps to tie them to benches and poles in random locales through the school. Possibly with nail glue added, but I never saw this myself.

* And finally a dirty one I heard third-hand and don't know if it's ever actually been done... anywhere where there's a rank of taxis waiting (train station or airport would be the usual places). Go down the rank taxi by taxi, and to all of the taxi drivers offer them a sexual favour in return for driving you to the address. Because taxi drivers generally need the money and don't mess around, they should all say no. Once you get to the last cab in the rank, though, just give him the address. Ideally, all other cab drivers are there as you drive past. Give them a big thumbs up, content in the knowledge that your driver's will be destroyed by hurtful rumours.


Doubt you'd be able to fit any of this into a game, but there you go.

[GarageGothic]

* Stealing somebody's mobile phone just to change the time, language and send offensive text messages to all of their contacts is a simple one.

Or better yet, switch the names in the numbers list so they find themselves sending steamy love messages to their own mother instead of their girlfriend.

[Hudders]

The numbers on a keyboard's numpad have 7,8,9 on the top row and 1,2,3 on the bottom. It's surprising how many people don't notice when you swap them.

I also like changing the autocomplete in Word so that when your victim types their name, it automatically replaces it with something more amusing.

[Stupot]

These are all quite funny and I'll certainly bear them in mind for future April Fool's days.  But they're not really the kind of thing I'm after for this game.

Let me give you some context:  You're at a house party, and there are 15-20 guests, and the aim of the game is to make them all leave (of their own accord or by ambulance) by doing horrible things to them.

For example, one [slightly clichéd] example that I've come up with is putting laxative into someones drink to make them shit themselves.  But it won't be as simple as that.  I want each prank to be a puzzle.  So maybe the bottle has a scientific name on it and you have to wor out what it means before realising it's potential.  Or mabe you have to find a key to get into the medicine cabinet (but then, who locks their medicine cabinet?)... and then in order to put the laxative in the person's drink you have to somehow distract them for a moment so they can't see you doing it.

But once you've acheived this, hopefully there will be a bit of animation and the person runs out of the house in horror followed by a brown trail... or something like that. Haha.  It's not highly original, but I've got a few laid down that are a bit more creative.  I just don't want to spoil them here.

[Hudders]

Bucket of water on top of a door, type things?

[ThreeOhFour]

Put clingfilm over the toilet seat before you give them the laxative.

Then when they open the toilet door after making a mess, squirt them with a hose. Not for any specific reason, but if I was in that situation and somebody squirted me with a hose I'd really be very cross , even though they'd be justified in squirting the hose because there was crap everywhere.

[Eggie]

Warn the girl gyrating next to the speaker that standing too close to loud music can make you deaf, switch the song to a recording of a broadcasting test signal, steal a gun silencer from the bragging CIA man you recently dispatched, bake the silencer into a muffin, offer the muffin to gyrating girls friend, place an A alphabetti spaghetti on the business card of a ER docter, place the card in a easy to find place, create an elaborate docters office set out of fibreglass complete with an antimatronic docter.

Gyrating girl hears the test signal; believes she's gone deaf, goes to her friend for reassurance, her friend cannot say a word, she sees the business card of an Ear Doctor and runs to your fibreglass set, detonate the robot doctor, her resulting scream is the exact right frequency to shatter the glass case of the eternity gem; which you can use to defeat the evil wizard.

[poc301]

On a kitchen sink, some of them have the spray nozzles next to the hot/cold faucets.  You know, where you pull it out and its a nozzle on a hose you can use to spray dishes down..  Well, I know from experience you can wrap a rubber band around the press-bar thing to activate it.  The next time someone turns the sink on, BLAMMO, they are sprayed with water.


Someone mentioned The Office (US version) above.  One of the other things Jim did to Dwight was put all his office supplies in the vending machine, and gave him a bag of nickles for him to buy it all back with.

He also put Andy's cell phone in the ceiling so that when it rang he went nuts trying to find it..

Finally, when I was a senior in high school about 12 or 13 years ago, we used to watch movies two times a week in English class (my teacher was lazy).  One day I brought in a universal remote and sat at my desk programming it until I got it to work on the VCR and television.  It almost gave the teacher a stroke because he got so mad.  Finally figured out what was causing it and told whoever was doing it to stop.  I didn't, but I never got caught, so it was okay.

My dad likes to tell stories about how he and his friends used to lay down on the side of a busy road when they were kids, acting like they got hit by a car, and when someone would get out to help them, they would get up and run into the woods.  Not that mean, but invonvenient..

-Bill

[Ghost]

Put nasty stuff into the fruit bowl.

[Eggie]

Like STARFRUIT!

[kaputtnik]

The kids love it:

Wet Willy

A finger is placed into the mouth to create a very wet finger, and then inserted into one of the ears of the person caught off guard.


Bra Strap Snap

The act of grabbing a bra strap through the material of the back of a girls top, and releasing it with a snap. This is usually only done to girls in the training bra stage. The pranksters may say "North, South, East, West, Equator" while pointing out where those are on the back of the girl and then pulling back on the "Equator" (horizontal bra strap) and letting go of it so that it can be heard to snap.


Yeah, and starfish in the fruit bowl, that's about it.

[DanielH]

Wet Willy

A finger is placed into the mouth to create a very wet finger, and then inserted into one of the ears of the person caught off guard.

I never understood wet willies. Someone puts their finger in their mouth, and then into anothers' ear. At the end of it, one of them has a wet ear and the other has a wet finger with someone else's earwax on it. Who comes off better in that scenario?

[arj0n]

Release an "Unfair-Dead-Ends-Only" game could be pretty annoying I guess....

[Tuomas]

I magazine I once read suggested waiting your friend to pass and gluing his penis onto his thigh, so that when he woke up, he'd had to pee, but he couldn't.

The same magizine also suggested learning to whistle the beeping sound on road-crossings, breaking the machine and waiting for the light to turn red and a crowd of blind people to arrive, though...

But glue is generally a good thing...

How about starting up the cars in the carage and drilling a hole on the kitchen wall, then leading all the exhaust though a fastened hose from the pipe through the hole into the kitchen?

Or just play this one on endless repeat: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s2uuV9a_Eew

[Anian]

I magazine I once read suggested waiting your friend to pass and gluing his penis onto his thigh, so that when he woke up, he'd had to pee, but he couldn't.

The same magizine also suggested learning to whistle the beeping sound on road-crossings, breaking the machine and waiting for the light to turn red and a crowd of blind people to arrive, though...

First of all, penis should be off limits in any joke, as should a kick in the balls be in any fair fight (well unless you can't win otherwise so you have to run away ).
Secondly, "learning to whistle the beeping sound"? Call me crazy but wouldn't using a dictaphone (or regular mobile phone) be a bit easier?

OnTopic: Might I suggest the end being that you get punched in the face at the ned of the game? 

P.S. The phone handle from US Office is hillarious.

[Buckethead]

people who wrote that article in that magazine have no sense of humour anyway. It's not funny mess with male reproductive organs or blind people.

[Paper Carnival]

I have a bad habit of always reading the final post before I read all the previous posts I missed. So...

people who wrote that article in that magazine have no sense of humour anyway. It's not funny mess with male reproductive organs or blind people.

I don't want to say what I thought after reading this post, but you can guess.

Our door has a button next to the door speaker inside the house that opens it automatically. My sister was trying to close the door, and I was there pressing the button every time she was doing that. That's probably one of the meanest things I ever did that I can remember, which makes me wonder that maybe I'm too soft on other people.

[Akatosh]

Well, if you really want "pranks" of the You're Going To Hell For This variety, you could always have the main character slip small amounts of milk to lactose-intolerant people, then somehow block their toilet access.

Also, stealing people's cars and driving over cops with them. HILARIOUS!