Least favorite movies...

Eggie · Sun 02/05/2004 22:01:18

Well, I had a search around and it didn't look like there'd been a topic dedicated to this before.
And even if there has been, we can still have fun with this this, right?

...

Right?

Okay den!

Here are my five least favourite films. Most of them are pretty recent due to me being young and inexperienced.

5: Hulk
Hulk smash! Hulk jump! Hulk make some horrible attempt at artsy-fartsy dialouge! Hulk jump some more! Hulk shows off his CGI muscles from THREE DIFFERENT ANGLES! And more jumping...

Well...maybe you just need to be a fan of the comic to really get it, but to me, this film was a dull, reliefless slog through tediousville accompanied by graphics that look almost good enough to be in a video game.
I think this movie could have benifitted from dumbing itself down a bit and aiming a little more in the direction of entertainment. I mean, to be honest, it's a little hard to take a film about a muscle-bound shrek in green boxer shorts seriously. Tongues should be in cheeks at all times.

4: Dinosaur

Eisner: I have an idea for a movie!
Staff: Yay! What's it about?
Eisner: It's a 3D movie...
Staff: Yeah, but...what's it about?
Eisner:...It...it's 3D...

Okay, you've got some pretty looking dinosaurs.
You've got some pretty looking locations all over the world.
You've got the ability to ability to splurge it all together and make it beutiful.

So what was wrong with this?
Well, it was utterly, utterly formulaic. Now, this isn't always a bad thing, but when you use the formulas in this sickeningly pants fashion it all seems like a waste of a perfectly decent animation team...

3: Ghost in the Shell
My God...The Wachowski brothers must adore this movie...

Now, I'm not going to attempt to say this is a bad film because it has a huge fan base and many redeeming features. It's thought-provoking, detailed and visually stunning.
No, this film is on my list simply because it is not my cup of tea...

The main reason this film was so hard for me to watch was the endless sea of increasly confusing dialouge. I mean, it's okay in a manga. People are aloud to talk alot because speech is instantly there in the readers brain and if your brain starts to melt you can just read it again. In a film it actually takes time to say things and it begins to get tedious when there's nothing much physically happening to break it up.

In fact, that's the only reason I found this film hard to watch. The yhing is, when you're using animation there's practically no limits to what you can show on screen, and these guys know that and there are some utterly beutiful sequences in the movie. But the majority of the film is spent talking. It hurts me to see the obvious talent and work that went into creating these scenes is wasted on basically illustrating a radio play.

After watching this film I felt tired, confused and rather like I'd wasted 70 minutes of my life. Sorry, obsessive AnimÃ© fans.

2: Deep Blue Sea
I'm the token black guy AND the token religious guy all rolled into one. I can cook too!
Now, THIS film I have no quarms about stating what an a large, steaming pair of old granny bloomers it is!

Seriously, what IS this movie? It's not scary, it's not thought-provoking, it's not even any fun. Why does everyone I meet seem to think this is the ultimate thriller.

Please tell me I'm not alone of this one, Deep Blue Sea is remarkable only because of the fact it is so blatently unremarkable. It adds nothing new or exiting to the world of film and everything in it has been done before and done several squillion times better.

1: The Matrix: Reloaded
Agent Smith was the only thing that made the first film worth watching. He is the one and only, and that's why he's so great. But...wait a minute, now there's THOUSANDS of Smiths, all talking some tripe about purpose...I am not amused!
Okay, I wont spend too much time on this one since there's nothing I can say that hasn't already been said before.

I despise this movie and I know I'm not the only person who feels this way about it.

[me = Eggie] is attacked by a Warner Brothers marketing exectutive who rams his hand into my chest and transforms me into an obsessive Matrix fan.[/me]

Oh em Gee! The camera goes ALL THE WAY around them! Ergo; The Matrix rules! I'm going off to buy a Matrix comic. It can go with my Matrix dental floss, Matrix underwear and limited edition Matrix vibrator!!

Well, that was fun. Post your own typo-laden rants about your least favourite movies. It good for getting the aggression out.
Oh, and if you disagree with my opinion, feel free to say. We're all among friends here *prepares E-mail bomb*

Privateer Puddin' · Sun 02/05/2004 22:05:23

Ernest goes to ...

AGA · Sun 02/05/2004 22:32:04

Seven Years in Tibet. The only film I've every walked out of the cinema from...

remixor · Sun 02/05/2004 22:36:00

Donnie Darko. FLAME AWAY!

Rave · Sun 02/05/2004 22:46:47

Well, of course there is Gigli....is that how its spelt? The movie so horrible that EVERYONE walked out of the theater?

I didn't see it of course so maybe that doesn't count. What movies I DO hate are

1. Passion of the Christ....
2. SIGNS
3. Leathal Weapon Series
4. The Patriot
5. We were soldiers
6. Ransom
7. Conspiracy Theory
8. Braveheart
9. Maverick
10. Any movie that stared/featured or even MENTIONED Mel Gibson.

God, I hate that man with a passion.

Ghormak · Sun 02/05/2004 22:53:49

Quote from: remixor on Sun 02/05/2004 22:36:00
Donnie Darko. FLAME AWAY!

I can do better than that:

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom

remixor · Sun 02/05/2004 22:55:30

Quote from: Ghormak on Sun 02/05/2004 22:53:49
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom

Aw, seriously? :'(

LordHart · Sun 02/05/2004 23:00:06

Um, does anyone have a few hours to waste while I go through mine?

Robert Eric · Sun 02/05/2004 23:00:54

I like every movie I have ever seen.

nope! · Sun 02/05/2004 23:09:12

Amelie Poulain: This movie is insipid.

Moreover, during my stay in England, I was regardered as a heretic:

- You're French?
- Yes.
- Do you know "Amelie"?
- This movie sucks.
- Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

YES! IT'S BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BerserkerTails · Sun 02/05/2004 23:09:19

I love almost every movie. However, there are a few I can list...

1) Wicked Stepmother
-This was playing on TV, and the day before I saw a commercial for it. It showed stuff flying around all cheesy like, and a cat smoking. I thought, hey, might be terrible, and I love terrible movies! So I watched it. Bad mistake.

2) Species
-I got this one free with a DVD magazine. See, the magazine came with Species in the US, and Jesus Christ: Vampire Killer in Canada. Being Canadian, I sat down with my friend to watch JC kill vampires in a schlocky horror film. Unfortunatley the disc inside was Species. Only movie I've fallen asleep watching and NOT felt guilty about it.

3) Battlefield Earth
-Just watch that one scene where the guy says "Two (Insert alien name) coming fast!". It then cuts to the aliens, who are walking down a hallway, as slow as possible. 'Nuff said. Only movie I actually begged my brother to stop playing.

Ghormak · Sun 02/05/2004 23:09:52

Seriously. I loved Lost Ark and Last Crusade, but Temple of Doom was nothing like the other two. In LA and LC Indy had a goal. "Indy, go find this artifact." ToD on the other hand was Indy accidentally ending up in some mansion, accidentally stumbling in to some underground place, accidentally finding a strange cult. There Indy becomes possessed, and we think he's a goner, but WOOSH MAGIC he's fine again, and they get out of there.

Also, Short Round.

Esseb · Sun 02/05/2004 23:17:04

I agree with everything Ghormak said, besides Short Round. He rules.

remixor · Sun 02/05/2004 23:20:32

I'm not going to get involved with defending Temple of Doom because it's a futile effort (though that movie kicks the ass), but I have to at least say that Short Round is completely awesome.

AGA · Sun 02/05/2004 23:25:25

Quote from: remixor on Sun 02/05/2004 22:36:00
Donnie Darko. FLAME AWAY!

You, sir, have taste.

Ghormak · Sun 02/05/2004 23:27:01

Quote from: remixor on Sun 02/05/2004 23:20:32
I'm not going to get involved with defending Temple of Doom because it's a futile effort (though that movie kicks the ass), but I have to at least say that Short Round is completely awesome.

That's perfectly fine, this is a thread about insulting the movies we hate, not defending the movies other people hate.

LGM · Sun 02/05/2004 23:44:32

Master of Disguise and House of the Dead are the only two real movies I've HATED... There are some others I won't watch ever again, but I see so many movies I can't remember them.

P.S. I love both Donnie Darko and Temple of Doom... Meh.. And Matrix Reloaded. (I used to hate it.. But upon 3rd viewing, and 2nd viewing of Revolutions, I like them boath loads more.)

Andail · Mon 03/05/2004 00:03:55

I agree with Ghormak. And Esseb. As usual.

I really loved Amelie Poulain, so I have to disagree with Nope here.

That makes two agreements and one disagreements so far.

Privateer Puddin' · Mon 03/05/2004 00:07:29

Donnie Darko perhaps, because stupid people think the song 'Mad World' originally comes from it.

TheDude · Mon 03/05/2004 00:18:45

Rocky V
Pirates of the Caribbean - Johnny Depp was the only thing worth watching it for... oh, and maybe Keira Knightley. I would've fallen asleep otherwise.