So you think you've seen the worst movie ever made? Was it so bad it's hilarious? Post it here!
I've taken some sort of strange interest in finding out the worst movies ever created, the ones that try so hard to be great but end up being unintentionally hilarious. ;D
Of course, I have to say that the champion is Plan 9 From Outer Space, by the beloved Ed Wood Jr.
Another one of my favorites is The Beast of Yucca Flats. (Both of those are availble for watching on Google Videos.)
Let's see, another one that is just painful is Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.
And the WORST I've seen is probably Manos: The Hands of Fate, by Texas fertilizer salesman, Hal Warren. Simply awful. It's not even fun to make fun of.
Anybody seen these? Got any more suggestions?
My ALL TIME WORST MOVIE ever goes to:
Cobra (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0090859/) - Starring Sylvester Stallone and Bridget Nielson. This movie is so incredibly horrible it's almost worth watching. It embodies EVERY cliche of an 80's action flick. From the cheezy music to the big breasted blonde and the silly action to the hiked up jeans with shirt tucked in. At several points while trying to sit through this movie I had to stop myself from chewing my arm off to numb the pain.
My runner up is:
State Property (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0301893/) - I don't have words for how horrible this movie is. It's like a bunch of wanna-be actors trying to be "ghetto" and coming up with something so painful to watch it's embarassing to all humans. If this movie is an actual depiction of "urban" living in the world today than a few well placed nukes would solve the issue nicely. I almost had respect for JayZ before seeing this movie ... but since he lowered himself to be in it, I didn't find that respect. Remember the movies you used to make in highschool? Well this isn't even that good.
Weren't we talking about movies that were bad but still good? If so, my vote goes to "The Last Broadcast," the film that inspired the Blair Witch Project. It was poorly acted, poorly directed, poorly written, and had one of the absolute WORST ENDINGS I've ever seen in my life... But all this added to the fact that it was a mockumentary actually made it believable (real people, I'm not sure if you've noticed, tend to become bad actors when a camera is put in front of their face, even if they aren't supposed to be acting). As such, they had me going the whole movie. "Is this real?" I thought. "It's way too far fetched. What the hell is going on here???" Off the record, a good mockumentary that is actually good is "Mail Order Wife."
If we are talking about bad movies that are just plain bad... I have to go with (as a given) anything by Uwe Boll, or Boogeyman... Or Darkness Falls (how the hell are you supposed to kill a ghost by lighting your hand on fire and punching it, even if it IS "allergic" to light???).
The Fog - Worst hours of my life right there.
Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby - Funny, but dumb.
Snakes on a Plane - ITS MOTHAFUCKIN TERRIBLE MOTHAFUCKA! (sorry for swearing, it was the icing on the cake! :))
Doom - I picked up a lousy movie. (get it???)
Quote from: R4L on Wed 07/03/2007 01:31:58
Snakes on a Plane - ITS MOTHAFUCKIN TERRIBLE MOTHAFUCKA! (sorry for swearing, it was the icing on the cake! :))
I found it quite enjoyable, just as a fun ride. Nothing more, just a fun movie. Plus I love snakes anyway. ;D
Best worst movies? Wow, the list is extensive, since I make it a point to see just these kinds of movies:
Barn of the Blood Llama
A bunch of backwater hicks are raising llamas for food, but when a scientist starts experimenting with the llamas they turn into dangerous killers. The movie has a lot of psychedelic color shifting and stuff that adds to the 'this was made by amateurs' feeling.
Redneck Zombies
A bunch of backwater hicks (a standard theme in low budget horror) find a keg of radioactive stuff and decide to use it as a liquor still, accidentally turning themselves and anyone who drinks their lime green moonshine into disgusting zombies. The sequence with the Tobacco Man is probably one of the most memorable I've seen in a film.
Neon Maniacs
Some freaks not unlike those from Nightbreed have been hiding in an area by a bridge, but now they are coming out to kill people. Oddly enough, water destroys them.
Plague Zombies 1 and 2 (aka Plaga Zombie)
A hilarious Argentinian zombie series where three unlikely heroes are forced to survive a town full of zombies created by aliens.
Lady Terminator (even rips off lines from Terminator!)
An evil taiwanese femme fatale with an eel in her vagina (yes, you read right) is defeated by an American hero and vows vengeance. Many years later his daughter is pursued by a poor woman who the eel invades, turning her into a terminator-ripoff.
Bloodsucking Pharoahs in Pittsburgh
Someone is killing women for specific body parts and it is up to two detectives, one who vomits at the sight of blood and the other a moron, to save the day.
Hey, Stop Stabbing Me!
I was pleasantly surprised by this college film student movie about a geek named Herman who shares a house with a rapidly declining group of post-grads. One of them is the killer, but who? What kind of creature is stealing Herman's socks, and why does he have a job digging holes in the ground when he's a Historian?
Equinox
Undeniably the film that inspired Raimi's The Evil Dead, a group of hapless 70's college kids go to the forest to the cabin of a professor only to discover he's gone insane and is searching for a book of evil. Little do they realize that a devil is also looking for the book and has unleashed stop motion creatures to get it back.
Nudist Colony of the Dead
A bunch of nudists make a suicide pact rather than leave their colony when the rest of the town demands they put clothes on. Years later a bunch of college kids accidentally revive the fury of the undead nude zombies and must fight to stay alive.
The Stuff
White creamy stuff starts bubbling out of the ground and the immediate reaction for people is to eat it, turning them into carriers for an evil life form!
That's all I can think of for now. Also I did see Beast of Yucca Flats (it's available for free through publicdomaintorrents.com if anyone cares) and Manos and Plan 9 and Santa Claus. I agree that Manos is probably one of the most painful films to sit through, and MST3K couldn't even make it watchable.
MANOS THE HANDS OF FATE.
INVASION OF THE NEPTUNE MEN.
MONSTER-A-GO-GO.
SATAN'S SLAVE.
These films... require no explaination as to their hideiousness.
HERCULES IN NEW YORK!
IMO the ultimate so bad it is good movie. This is why:
1. It is Arnold Schwarzeneggers first movie and his accent is amazing. He sounds like he doesn't understand what he's saying.
2. It has the best fight between a "bear" and a man caught on film.
3. The best horse-drawn carriage vs car chase.
3. The best soundtrack: A one min. guitar loop that is used during the fight scenes as well as the romantic scenes.
4. The entire Olympus and Hell - complete in paper machee.
5. A small cameo by John Candy before he was famous.
6. Super acting and special effects all the way through.
7. Did I mention Arnold in his best role ever. Make sure to get the version where Arnolds voice isn't dubbed.
I think I've seen this movie around 50 times and I keep on finding new things thats bad/funny about it...
"No one is superior to Hercules!"
It wasn't really all that bad, but I figured it fits here: Dead Meat (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0369359/)
Oh, and Dog Soldiers (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0280609/).
Manos: The Hands of Fate is probably the best worst. It actually managed to make me laugh at a few points...
The worst worst I've ever seen is probably Doom... Be it how well done as a movie, carrying said name there's no fine cut, camera work, special effect or witty line to save it. Plain sucks. For AvP the effort put into the movie saved something, as I don't concider it a horrible movie. It's a decent one, as a movie, but it's a bit too unfaithful for the original Alien story.
Seriously.. Target (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0367122/#comment) is probably, by far, the worst movie I ever saw. The acting is horrible, the timeline is flawed and well... It's just horrible.
"Braindead" is not bad, per se, but at some point you just have to laugh. It gets ridiculous by the end.
Quote from: He-Man on Wed 07/03/2007 08:56:38
HERCULES IN NEW YORK!
Doh! I was going to mention this very film! it was on the other day!
Arnold's acting is so piss poor, even more than later on in his career! He looks like he's reading the lines in front of him!
Except when Hercules talks on the radio, he needs a bit of emotion,so they got another actor to talk for him. The actor didn't even have his accent!
In olympus, you can hear the traffic of cars and buses in the distance. Did they film this in a park in london? they did?
Quote from: R4L on Wed 07/03/2007 01:31:58
The Fog - Worst hours of my life right there.
Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby - Funny, but dumb.
Snakes on a Plane - ITS MOTHAFUCKIN TERRIBLE MOTHAFUCKA! (sorry for swearing, it was the icing on the cake! :))
Doom - I picked up a lousy movie. (get it???)
I don't think The Fog is that bad. Not brilliant, but entertaining enough. And not necessarily in a "so bad it's good" way.
And Snakes On A Plane is great. It's not badly made, it's tongue in cheek. There's a difference.
The Fog is bad, but definitely not so bad it's good. Just so bad that any sane person would turn it off after half an hour. Man, that movie sucked!
Snakes on a Plane was also bad. I thought it would have been so bad that it was good but it was also just bad. It was good enough to sit all the way through. So it wasn't as bad as the Fog. But then again, the Fog was really bad.
This is a bad post. I'm sorry about the bad post. It was really, really bad. But then again probably not bad enough to be good.
Critical Mass (2000) - absolutely awful. More than that. The beginning of the movie starts with a view of a road, and I thought "Hang on, that looks like Terminator 2's opening shot". And to my surprise, it WAS. The opening scene of Critical Mass was a mish-mash of shots from T2's Cyberdyne building scene with their own actors cut in in place of Arnie and co. They use shots from Terminator 2 and claim them to be their own!!! SO LAME!!!! I mean, it is STUNNINGLY awful. You have to see it to beleive it. We're talking; Man stands at window with a gun, cut to an unidentifiable Arnie with machine gun firing at loads of poilice cars, etc... Ugh.
This was broadcast on the BBC a few years ago, and I can't beleive it.
I hated it so much I made sure IMDB knew :) http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0218126/usercomments-3
I get a kick out of all crappy post-Naked Gun Leslie Nielson movies. Movies that are essentially "Naked Gun but with x". Movies like Spy Hard (Naken Gun with Spies) or 2001: A Space Travesty (Naked Gun in space).
Three examples of Italian awesome badness:
The Specialist (Gli Specialisti) [1969] (http://imdb.com/title/tt0065026/)
Revolver [1973] (http://imdb.com/title/tt0073626/)
Inglorious Bastards (Quel maledetto treno blindato) [1977] (http://imdb.com/title/tt0076584/)
Any movie-buff who hasn't seen these should be lynched... or shown these movies.
I find that all a Night on Elmstreet movies fit this titel pretty well. Freddy Krueger could have been a pretty scary murderer but instead those movies where hilarious. In the first movie someone makes a trap for Freddy and he walk right into it and gets a hammer in his stomache. It was just classic!!
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I don't think one of you saw it - in fact, nobody except me seems to have seen it - but there is one movie that makes Plan 9 seem like Titanic and Are We There Yet like Grim Fadango...
Game over. The "story" is about some dorky child who, for some reason, was fired by some intelligence agency or something like that and is now working as a... private detective? (OMGWTF moment #1). Anyway. Then, some new video game named *ahem* Game Over releases. They don't say what it's about, but hey, it's just the key part of the story so that's probably not important. So, that dork whose name I already forgot while watching the movie gets in line to buy the game, but trips and loses his (stored in a giant glass jar, if I remember right) money or gives it to a poor child or steps in dog poo or something like that, stopping him from buying that game. Some time later, he is called by that Intelligence Dork Station or WHATEVER they may call themselves and...
Gah, I can't go on. It is too horrible. He gets sucked in that game somehow and ends up with 0.5 lives somehow and rescues the world in the LAMEST POSSIBLE WAY. I tried to figure out what the f*ck that game was about, but... it seemed to be a cross of Mech Arena, Super Mario Brothers, World of WarCraft, Enter the Matrix, Tetris and some other uber-lame games.
Get that movie. Now. It's even supposed to be 3D and ships with these 3D "glasses", but they don't work properly. Big whooping surprise.
Sounds like Spy Kids 3-D (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0338459/) to me. (Game Over is the subtitle.)
I've seen it, the weakest of the 3 by a long, long way but not out and out awful. The worst bad film I've ever seen is Virtual Sexuality (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0164221/), which has the dubious distinction of being the only film I've ever walked out of (and I didn't even pay to see it).
The 'so bad it's good' category, I wouldn't know where to start. Most recently, I guess I have an inexplicable fondness for DOA: Dead or Alive (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0398913/). It's utterly terrible, but mindlessly fun anyway.
One movie everyone and then no-one should see is Nemesis 4. It's a story of a slavic bodybuilder woman who finds herself naked in the ruins of Kosovo hunted by kyborgs. Some of them she manages to seduce and kill between her thighs, while others she has to blow up. THis movie is so awful, and it really has only one scene where everything happens. For some reason when I was 14, my aunt's husband bought me this VCR and we accidentally watched half of it with my father.
Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes. That's a classic. Half the time even the actors don't seem to know what they're doing.
Avalon. If I ever saw a bland Matric clone, it was this.
Brothers Grimm. Hilarious, pointless, BORING movie.
Spiders. If you ever need a How-Not-To Guide on making spider horror movies, it's all in there. And even more so in Spiders 2, but with less good special fx ;D
Quote from: veryweirdguy on Wed 07/03/2007 13:44:11
Quote from: R4L on Wed 07/03/2007 01:31:58
The Fog - Worst hours of my life right there.
I don't think The Fog is that bad. Not brilliant, but entertaining enough. And not necessarily in a "so bad it's good" way.
Which Fog are you talking about? The old one, or the newer one?
Combat Academy was awful, but for some reason I kept watching it so that I knew how NOT to make a movie.
It was supposedly made by the same people as Police Academy, but it's about 12 times shitter than any of them.
It starred a younger George Clooney and is basically about these two tits who get sent to a military academy and don't take it very seriously. Hilarity, I'm afraid to say, does not ensue.
Going Overboard is Adam Sandler at his worst... He basically plays this guy who really wants to be a comedian but is shit, and spends the whole film proving just that... that he's shit. Chuck in some "terrorists" and a scene where his t-shirt keeps changing colour between shots and you've one of the greatest crap films of all time.
Quote from: Tuomas on Wed 07/03/2007 16:58:24
One movie everyone and then no-one should see is Nemesis 4.
I've seen all the Nemesis movies! :D
The first one is the best, the third one is the worst (it's simply a collection of clips from the second one! Which itself was pretty bad!)
Quote from: Ghost on Wed 07/03/2007 18:09:53
Avalon. If I ever saw a bland Matrix clone, it was this.
I couldn't disagree more.
Off the top of my head, and from too many choices to list, these films are truly awful:
The Last Flight of Noah's Ark (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0081031/)
Wizards of the Lost Kingdom (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0090333/)
Draniac! (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0138408/)
Cavegirl (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088891/)
Deadly Reactor (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0097168/)
Raging Angels (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0114226/)
Any of these films will rapidly kill your will to live.
Yay, the copy of Ed Wood's "Bride of the Monster" I bought off eBay came today!
I'll watch it and fill you in on the horror of it all!!!!! (Though, not horror in the way Mr. Wood hoped it would be, I'm sure.)
Teknolust
I actually really like this film, but it IS blooody awful, so i suppose it fits the criteria being a good crap film.
It's basically about this genetic scientist woman (played by Tilda Swanton of Narnia fame), who creates 3 clones using her own DNA but to survive they need male semen so one of them goes out and acts real slutty shagging different men and then retrieve the semen from herself after the act and giving it to the other two clones and having a lovely feast.
The science is poor, the acting is worse and on my copy of the DVD, you can barely hear the dialogue, but...
The colours and the direction at times are inspired and I'd watch it again and again even though it's terrible.
Has anyone else seen this film and what did they think of it?
The later Robocop movies, Oh god, so bad... As well this one movie that had Stephen Baldwin in it.Xchange I think It had a great idea, ( i read a sci-fi book that had almost the same plot, only better) and they did some great special effects at the start with futuristic cars and a nicely handled idea, but then its like they ran out of money or something.the end chase seine is done in an immaculate( so they can't explain its some old relic) dodge , or maybe ford truck. plus it has Stephen Baldwin, instant shloc-i-tude in my opinion. the idea was great, and there was some good effects and makeup work, but heaven help us it just completely sputters at the end.
Miami Vice is just a terrible and extremely boring movie that doesn't try to do anything original at all, i was so bored with it i didn't even see the ending, but i'm guessing it ended in a gun fight and an explosion.
Revolver: a ridiculously over the top, weird for the sake of it, steaming pile of utter crap that Jason Statham and Ray Liotta should be ashamed of themselves for being in. It never really goes anywhere and is just full of rubbish that doesn't need to be there, like the elevator scenes. They didn't even explain SPOILER
Spoiler
how those two guys escaped from prison
which was really dumb, i'd rate this in the top 5 worst movies i've seen. But atleast i actually managed to watch this one all the way through unlike Miami Vice, this is just a bad movie, whereas that is a boring one.
Buckethead, re Elm Street, I throughly disagree... I agree that Elm Street 2, 5 and 6 are dreadul, but 3 and 4 are good, or at least passable, 7 is surprisingly good despite an arguable ending, and 1 is a classic - I agree that the "trap scene" is a bit out of place, but Elm Street 1 remains a classic, even despite rather flawed acting. I can't in any way consider it a bad film, much less a film that's so bad it's funny. Elm Street 6, on the other hand...
I'd have to say "Dune".
I love that flick, though it's a mess to most.
Bt
QuoteBuckethead, re Elm Street, I throughly disagree... I agree that Elm Street 2, 5 and 6 are dreadul, but 3 and 4 are good, or at least passable, 7 is surprisingly good despite an arguable ending, and 1 is a classic - I agree that the "trap scene" is a bit out of place, but Elm Street 1 remains a classic, even despite rather flawed acting. I can't in any way consider it a bad film, much less a film that's so bad it's funny. Elm Street 6, on the other hand...
I have to say 1 and 3 are probably my favorite NoES movies, 3 ranking considerably higher if only for Dokken's fabulous Dream Warrior tune. Oddly enough, I quite enjoyed Freddy's Dead, though I DID see it at the premiere with my best friend and got to enjoy the 3d sequence at the end. Elm Street is the only one of the Big Three of Horror (Jason, Freddy, Michael Myers) who had later films that were actually decent imo. The Halloweens just got worse, and the Jasons remained too similar in content, at least up to Jason's Space Hijinks, aka Jason X. Seriously though, if you are a fan of Halloween 1 and 2 stay far, far away from the rest, and particularly the new ones.
3d sequence at the end?
<mentally replays the end of Freddy's Dead>
Whoa, that would have been something, allright!
Quote from: Mr. Hyde on Wed 07/03/2007 19:32:51
Quote from: veryweirdguy on Wed 07/03/2007 13:44:11
Quote from: R4L on Wed 07/03/2007 01:31:58
The Fog - Worst hours of my life right there.
I don't think The Fog is that bad. Not brilliant, but entertaining enough. And not necessarily in a "so bad it's good" way.
Which Fog are you talking about? The old one, or the newer one?
Good point sir. I was referring to the old one - I never saw the newer one. But hey, maybe I'm wrong, it has been a while since I saw it.
I was taklking about the new one. That was horrible...
I forgot to mention Ninja Terminator.
It's about some ancient ninja statue which is divided into three parts and when a ninja puts all three parts together he gets to be the ultimate ninja - The Ninja Terminator. Meanwhile there is a total unrelated plot going on with some journalist who get attacked by masked ninjas all the time. The plot of the movie make no sense which is funny enough in it self but the crappy acting and fight scenes really makes it all perfect...
The He-Man movie was also very funny because it was so bad. I think it's called Masters of the Universe.
Most of the movies I've seen starring Dolph Lundgren has been pretty shitty. I remember one movie - I can't remember the title though. In a scene he surprises this girl and she says: "Oh, I didn't hear you come." Later on there's a sex scene between the two (of cause) and it ends with the gril saying: "Ah, this time I heard you come..." or something like that. That was so corny I couldn't stop laughing. That movie also had a lot of crappy acting and stunts.
Quote from: Stupot on Wed 07/03/2007 19:53:30
Combat Academy
Going Overboard
You got these in one of those multiple film packs, right? I've seen both of these around the same time, when someone in my family paid.. ooh.. at least a pound for them. They want their pound back.
Has anyone mentioned the Street Fighter movie yet? (Not the brilliant anime one, the one with Van Damme in it.)
Yeah i've seen that movie. They even made a game based off of it! :o
Ah yes, the game based on the movie based on the game.
(http://www.defunctgames.com/pic/reviewpics/reviewstreetfightermoviegame-2.jpg)
Looks like a poor man's mortal kombat.
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I know it sounds stupid, but I liked the Street Fighter movie, sure it was bad, but bad in a a way that said, "don't take this seriously" at least it was more fun then final fantasy: the spirits within, uhhhh.....now that was a movie that tells us not to watch movies made by nerds. I still have yet to see a "virtual actor" that made me feel half the sympathy that i have for daffy duck, now THAT was a virtual actor.
Quote from: He-Man on Thu 08/03/2007 10:36:57
I forgot to mention Ninja Terminator.
It's about some ancient ninja statue which is divided into three parts and when a ninja puts all three parts together he gets to be the ultimate ninja - The Ninja Terminator. Meanwhile there is a total unrelated plot going on with some journalist who get attacked by masked ninjas all the time. The plot of the movie make no sense which is funny enough in it self but the crappy acting and fight scenes really makes it all perfect...
I remember one movie - I can't remember the title though. In a scene he surprises this girl and she says: "Oh, I didn't hear you come." Later on there's a sex scene between the two (of cause) and it ends with the gril saying: "Ah, this time I heard you come..." or something like that. That was so corny I couldn't stop laughing. That movie also had a lot of crappy acting and stunts.
Ninja Terminator is from a series of similar films (Golden Ninja Warrior, Ninja Dragon, Ninja Assassin, etc) which were made in Hong Kong is the early to mid eighties, usually partially directed by Godfrey Ho. I say partially, because in fact only about 45 minutes of footage was shot. This would then be edited into another, totally unrelated, movie, usually a seventies Hong Kong or Japanese film, to bring the running time up to 90 minutes. They are quite a thing to behold, as you try to figure out how they expected the stories to make any kind of sense. Golden Ninja Warrior holds the distinction of being banned in Canada, and the distiction of being the only one to be wholly made in Hong Kong, but unfortunately features copius amounts of rape scenes!
All of these "gems" are available in the UK, usually found in multipacks or such, for £1.99 or less. Best avoided.
The Dolph Lundgren movie is Showdown in Little Tokyo, also starring Brandon Lee. The girl in question is Tia Carrere (from Wayne's World, and TV's Relic Hunter), and that sex scene is one of the funniest ever commited to celluloid. She wiggles atop Dolph, with an expression like a small fish gulping for air, while Dolph lies immobile with a look of mild stress across his brow. It's also edited pretty badly, and I suspect a body double was involved.
Otherwise the movie is harmless fun, and best viewed drunk.
Quote from: AzureWolf on Thu 08/03/2007 16:32:36
The Transporter
Possibly the worst action movie ever made, with wooden acting from Jason Statham and masses, complete masses of stupid, nonsensical goofs (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0293662/goofs) and possibly the most lame plot in the world.
"He was a bastuhd ... but he wuz stee my fathuh" Hahahah ... I laughed my ass off at that part! Then went back and watched it again to laugh at her again. So terrible it was hilarious and enjoyable.
I can't speak for the rest of you ... but I now have about 20 movies added to my Netflix queue because of this thread! Kudos.
Showdown in Little Tokyo was painful to watch, mainly because Brandon Lee was a much better performer than Dolph and yet he spent just about every scene being a toadie with little to no martial arts skill. The scene where he remarks on how big Dolph's dick is must have been insulting. It was like watching a 'praise Dolph' film.
The one Dolph film I can honestly say I enjoyed (aside from his bit in Rocky IV) was I Come in Peace, mainly because it was silly fun with milk-gushing aliens.
Some more flicks:
Body Melt
An aussie flick about a wonder vitamin that actually makes your body parts come alive on their own and try to kill you. Sometimes you just melt, though. It also features redneck hillbilly aussies!
Violent Sh*t 1-x
Andreas Schnaas is well known in german horror for creating some of the most terrible yet over the top gory films, and his Karl the Butcher series is no exception. Just about any way you can imagine someone getting killed happens in one of these films, and several you wouldn't. Has some of the most hilarious gore scenes ever.
Premutos
Another german gem by Olaf Ittenbach about a loser kid who gets evil goo spilled on his pee-pee and turns into a demon from hell that summons zombies! Has some crazy gore in it and a completely off the wall battle sequence in a barn vs. around 500 zombies.
Spookies
This is one of those gems of horror/cheese that you find and wonder why you never saw it when it was out, I know I did. A group of adults looking for a party accidentally end up at an old mansion by a cemetery. Multiple subplots abound, but it all boils down to the crazed owner of the mansion and his collection of creatures who intend to absorb the partiers one by one in order to revive their master's dead wife. Has some really inspired fight scenes where (for once) the hero does what you'd like them to, like jumping THROUGH a door to bust it open or setting fire to the Grim Reaper!
Here are the 2 worst movies I have seen in my life.
THE MANGLER: REBORN.
This movie tries SO hard to be scary, but in doing so makes a boring ass movie with no plot, character development, a laughable villian and of course no scariness at all. The villian is a fat, bald guy who hides behind walls to watch his victims...but he's so fat his stomach hangs out from the wall. He mainly goes around with a tiny little hammer that he strikes unwilling victims over the head with. His "evil" face is just so incredibly bad I laugh every time I see it. I could attempt to explain this... but I can't do it justice. Anyway, after killing or knocking out his victims he feeds them to... a laundry press, but a laundry press of DOOM! Also, my favorite scene in this movie is a shower scene of which they obviously used a body double. You can tell this because they have a shot of just breasts for about 10 seconds. Ah, classic.
And now, the WORST movie I've ever seen. I want those 2 hours of my life back.
FEAR OF CLOWNS.
This movie makes Manos look like the Godfather. The camera changes position every 5 seconds, regardless of whose talking, what's going on or if it's needed (which it never is)
What's really sad is people actually change position along with the camera views, making them appear like they just teleported to a slightly different location. The acting is so incredibly wooden. I doubt these people would have gotten a part in an elementary school play, yet the director feels their AMAZING. The villian, of course, is a clown. But usually clowns wear clown suits and have funny hair and big shoes... right? Wrong, the clown in this movie is a big muscular bald guy with no shirt with the worst attempt at "scary clown makeup" I've ever seen. He carries around an oversized battleaxe which is so obviously plastic. The sad thing is the writers (if their were any) assumed that it would be scary if he just walked around going, "GET BETTER... GET BETTER... GET BETTER"
But perhaps the worst part about Fear of Clowns is that... THEY'RE MAKING A SEQUEL!!! I have absolutely no idea as to why as it got completely slammed by IMDB. The director (Who has a membership and often goes and sticks up for his movies) likes to prove how "idiotic" everyone who makes fun of his movies are. This always makes him appear completely arrogant and incredibly ignorant to many film techniques (of which he simply ignores when people on the internet tell him about because "You guys are just jealous cuz I'm making movies and you're living with your parents and paying for cheap hookers.")
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Oh yeah, that scene was so bad and embarassing I actually fast-forward through it :P
But apart from that scene (and comparable ones), I found the film funny. Cut out the genital "humor" and you end up with about 30 minutes of good humor.
Quote from: AzureWolf on Sat 10/03/2007 11:23:49
Well, last night I watched a move to add to my list.
Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan
A film so horribly tasteless and offensive, that it doesn't even deserve to be named a film. The scene where Borat's producer is feverishly masturbating over Pamela Anderson and the naked fight throughout the hotel was horrible and one of the most embarassing moments in movie history.
Should you even be watching Borat? It's rated 18. You are 12 (according to your profile). Your movie history is limited to post 1995. Maybe you didn't find it funny because most of the humour would go over your head?
I'm not picking on you, but your point is similar to me saying "Yu-Gi-Oh sucks, because it doesn't offer me a cerebral experience."
Maybe Borat (hardly a
subtle movie, but none the less) wasn't made to be entertaining for twelve year olds. :-\
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Quote from: AzureWolf on Sat 10/03/2007 21:33:43
I was under the impression it was a 15. But anyway, even though I am 12, I can still appreciate good humour and recognize it when I see it. And Borat just wasn't good. Like Akatosh said, there's only about 30 minutes of actual humour in there.
My apologies. It is indeed rated 15 (16 here). I still stand by the view that it isn't suitable viewing for a 12 year old, though, regarding it's content or it's humour.
Side note: It's rated 12 in Germany and
U in France. Show's you what
I know.
I am surprised that nobody has mentioned The Pumaman (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puma_Man)! I believe no further explanation is needed!
For one, it features at least three masturbation scenes :P
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Manos: Hands of Fate!
This movie is just hilarious! Not for a minute did I stop laughing when I watched it. I can't possibly imagine how can anyone think it's painful to watch. Just sit back and laugh at the awkward dialogue, ridiculous script and last but not least, TORGO. Enough said.
Quote from: AzureWolf on Sun 11/03/2007 13:37:16
And also, Borat is offending Kazakhstahn and its conventional ways of living, and also they are offending religion. For example, when they stay at the bed and breakfast, they call the Jews evil and shapeshifters. And, at the end, they claim to be Christians and show a scene where they show the civilians poking someone with a pitchfork. I just don't find that humorous.
Then you missed the point.
I don't love Borat, but it's not shit.
Hasn't anyone mentioned D&D yet? The movie, not the roleplaying books. Lousy acting, a character more annoying than Jarjar, weapons that are so obviously made of foam, lame cliched plot, several scenes ripped from Star Wars, stereotypical bad guys ("you promised you'd free us!" "Ha hah! I LIED!") and for the geeks among us, it breaks the D&D rules!
(oh yeah, and they apparently cut "clerics" from the movie for religious reasons)
Azurewolf, you obviously missed the point of Borat.
I actually found the naked fight scene extremely funny. I actually smile/chuckle when I think of it.
I also found Borat very funny and it definetly does not belong on this list of films.
Sacha Baron Cohen (who plays Borat) is a Jew himself, so I doubt he thinks that Jews are evil or whatever. I love the way that he is able to get the worst out of everyone (also with his characters Ali G and Bruno). He makes people do and say things that really say a lot about who they really are behind their facade.
I think it's nice to see a movie that have the guts to take a piss on everyone. I actually think the humor is able to break a lot of tabus. Political correctness sucks!
BTW I don't see what's so offensive about masterbating. I do all the time...
Yeah, "Dungeons & Dragons" was teh ultimate shit. Right next to it: "House of the Dead". I still wonder why Uwe Boll has chosen THIS video game to make a film of it. He should have made a film out of Pacman. That would be cool.
He chose zombies as a theme because they were overwhelmingly popular at the movies at the time (remember the slew of shitty zombie films out around then? That's why). Uwe Boll is a well known opportunist who uses and abuses every trick he can to make a buck, and I don't think Pac-Man would be a surefire hit with the teens of this generation -- not that anything he has made even came close to a hit.
Quote from: He-Man on Mon 12/03/2007 00:41:09
BTW I don't see what's so offensive about masterbating. I do all the time...
he's 12, so i think he probably either thinks it's weird or thinks other people will think he's weird.
you grow out of such things.
Its not funny though. Borat and Jackass are two movies that are just gross. I don't know why people think gross is funny.
Anyhow... The Best Worst movie in my book is Conan. It was one of the first movies I watched. ;D
Another one: Super Mario Bros!
About Borat:
I thought it was to exploit America, not make fun of Kazakhstahn.
And anotha one:
Stay Alive
Quote from: R4L on Tue 13/03/2007 00:10:37
About Borat:
I thought it was to exploit America, not make fun of Kazakhstahn.
If you've seen it, you'd agree that 90% of the comedy is based on how primitive Kazakhstan is (or Borat himself), and only some remaing percents actually mock USA.
I haven't seen it, but I agree with you.
I second the sentiments about Dungeons and Dragons. That is one sh*thole of a movie. But my vote for "really awfully bad but nevertheless very enjoyable movie" goes to:
The Lair of the White Worm (http://imdb.com/title/tt0095488/)
Bagpipers! Hugh Grant! ;D
Ah, The Lair of the White Worm. A fabulously insane horror movie if ever I saw one.
For a truly bad movie, see:
The Devil's Advocate (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0118971/)
Actually most of the satanic-themed movies that came out during the late nineties; Fallen (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0119099/), Stigmata (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0145531/), End of Days (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0146675/), The Ninth Gate (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0142688/), etc, are fairly appalling. Not only failing as horror movies, but failing as movies period.
I endorse LimpingFish's message, but you people keep diverting from the topic which is 'the best worst movies', not the worst movies!
Well bad films and good bad films are really down to a matter of preference. The glee we take in watching a bad movie that we find ourself actually enjoying on some weird level varies too much from person to person.
Take that Turkish Star Wars movie. One person might delight in it's ineptude, but another person will be bored.
So-bad-it's-good movies are, by and large, genre movies (Horror, Sci-Fi, Western, etc) and genre afficionados (myself included) are likely to rate a "bad" movie on a number of different levels that actually go beyond "good" and "bad".
I get a laugh out of Uwe Boll's movies, and will gladly sit through any one of them. Other people find themselves physically unable to sit still for the duration, wishing they were doing anything else except watching an ex-boxer's cinematic clag hemorrhaging on a screen in front of them.
Preference. :-\
Well best implies that you at least enjoyed the film ;).
Also, Turkish Star Wars - see it now!
And Turkish E.T. if only for the scene where Turkish ET pisses gas at Turkish Elliot, or the scene where they're all staring at a real dead dog for no apparent reason.
I was really wondering when these Turkish "adaption" movies would get mentioned in this thread :) I find those movies ashaming.
The Martrix trilogy: Why? I just don't like it. :)
Quote from: Fleshstalker on Thu 15/03/2007 02:15:27
The Martrix trilogy: Why? I just don't like it. :)
Good point. The Matrix is a very good movie, but almost as much ruined by its sequels as Highlander was.
Quote from: Andail on Tue 13/03/2007 09:12:15
Quote from: R4L on Tue 13/03/2007 00:10:37
About Borat:
I thought it was to exploit America, not make fun of Kazakhstahn.
If you've seen it, you'd agree that 90% of the comedy is based on how primitive Kazakhstan is (or Borat himself), and only some remaing percents actually mock USA.
Actually, no. That's not really it either. As Sasha Cohen himself says, it's about Americans letting their guard down to reveal their true nature to someone who is very naive of Western culture. If you think only 10 per cent of the film is making fun of the USA, I'd say you need to rewatch the film.
Yes, maybe I need rewatch the movie. Because last time I watched it, I could only find some three or four instances where Americans actually acted or spoke out of ignorance, prejudice or stupidity.
The rest of the time, they acted as politely and tolerantly as you'd expect from anyone, given the extreme situations. I mean, if you have a person giving you a bag of poo and then bringing a prostitute to your house, it's understandable if you run out of tolerance.
The times he actually got people to make those purely prejudiced and stupid comments were of course the highlights of the movie (like the arena-speech, the car-purchase (how fast need I drive to kill a crowd of Jews? and similar scenes) but they were rather few compared to all the scenes depicting how extremely uncivilised and backwards Borat's own culture is.
I think Sasha Cohen made much better satire when he was Ali-G in America, because then he got people to lower their guard without being so absurdly provocative.
Each of Cohen's characters serve a slightly different purpose, exploiting a different aspect of American ignorance. The humor is bringing people out of their comfort zone, and getting them to react.
Ali G. - gangsta-phobia
Borat - xenophobia
Bruno - homophobia
On topic, Predator is an AWESOME, but bad movie. I cannot stress the first adjective enough. :)
HAs anyone seen Plan 9 from outer space?Oh gods, that was bad...but you got to love it.
A movie I Hate, is watership down. The book was amazing, and beutiful and poetic. The book took all the plot and mythology and just made it into a well done technacly but weary plot, with inappropriate humour and a way over simplified storyline. They took fivers growth from weird runt to visionary leader and made him just weird runt.
The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0362270/)
this movie sux
o/
I have another one:
Resident Evil: Apocalypse
I love the RE series, and this movie was fun to watch, but it was really horrible. (they mixed the stories up :o)
and
Silent Hill
Now I love Silent Hill with all my demented, twisted heart, but this movie twisted the first 2 games into each other, although I loved the art of it. :) PH RULES!!!
Quote from: big brother on Thu 15/03/2007 15:46:30
Each of Cohen's characters serve a slightly different purpose, exploiting a different aspect of American ignorance. The humor is bringing people out of their comfort zone, and getting them to react.
Ali G. - gangsta-phobia
Borat - xenophobia
Bruno - homophobia
On topic, Predator is an AWESOME, but bad movie. I cannot stress the first adjective enough. :)
So American ignorance is the reason for "gangsta-phobia"?
I always thought that it was the high amount of gang related violent crime that caused gangsta-phobia.
Ignorance in the sense of a difference between an older generation and contemporary music culture. I wouldn't say that the violence angle is explored much in the show. Most of the jokes revolve around the stereotype that rappers are stupid.
Best Worst Movie: Star Wars: Attack Of The Clones.
Need I say more?
Yes, you need to add episode 2 and 3 and remove 'best' ;)
Quote from: ProgZmax on Thu 15/03/2007 01:09:44
Also, Turkish Star Wars - see it now!
Thanks for mentioning it- I had never heard of it until seeing this thread. I watched some clips and it really is one of the best crap movies ever. Almost a comedy, it's so stupid. The lame, incoherent editing is probably the funniest part about it.