Gay, the insult

[Disco]

You try telling someone you're asexual, that you're just not interested in sex regardless of who it'd be with.
They really can't get their head around that.

Tell me about it. I identify with asexuality out of lack of interest and even somewhat of a distaste for romantic relationships, yet still people continue to tell me it is not possible, or highly unlikely for someone to feel that way. I once had a schoolmate turned coworker ask me outright in response to a chat about asexuality: "Interesting....but, are you sure that you are not just gay but are afraid to admit it to yourself?" :o because I have nothing better to do than go around lying about something that I would have no reason to hide. People are nuts though.

...LimpingFish is closer to the mark than he (?)...

Yes, dude.

[miguel]

You should all be listening to The Smiths!
It's all about beeing gay in a very poetic way ( gays aren't allways the sensitive type ) in a world where to be gay can put someone in trouble.
It only took Morrissey 20 years to come out of the closet, so stay calm gay agsers, there is time!
When I was a teenager I thought, for a while, that I could be gay, not because I felt atracted to my friends but because I liked male icons ( James Dean, Morrissey, Montgomery Cliff, etc... ) and could not get laid with a girl and most of my friend did. Knowing they were all gay icons didn't help at all.
Eventualy I met a girl and I still remember not sleeping through the night following my first real kiss.
Stupot, this one for you:

Shyness is nice and
Shyness can stop you
From doing all the things in life
You'd like to

Shyness is nice and
Shyness can stop you
From doing all the things in life
You'd like to

So, if there's something you'd like to try
If there's something you'd like to try
Ask me I wont say no, how could I?

Coyness is nice, and
Coyness can stop you
From saying all the things in
Life you'd like to

So, if there's something you'd like to try
If there's something you'd like to try
Ask me I wont say no, how could I?

Spending warm Summer days indoors
Writing frightening verse
To a BUCKTOOTHED girl in Luxembourg...

Sorry for the long post, and if you think it had typos, try and play my game!

[Ryan Timothy B]

Gay, the insult, is meaningless.

I don't see how being called a faggot would insult you but you say the insult is meaningless, when it obviously isn't to you if you are insulted by it.

he means it's meaningless as in, it doesn't mean "you're homosexual", it's just an insult with and without meaning (usually said without meaning).  If that made sense.

[Andail]

I'm extremely relaxed when it comes to these things. I can easily joke about it among my friends and I've even discussed whom I'd rather be with had I been gay.

As a side note, my grandfather thought I was gay for a very long time since I could never present a proper girlfriend before him. My family laughed a lot about this, especially since they were well aware of my sporadic nightly escapades and various short-lived attempts at relationships. Once he even read a letter I'd written to a local newspaper where I harshly condemned some priests that had petitioned against gay marriage, and this made him even more determined. I never took offense, of course.
Luckily, gramps got to live to see me in a proper relationship before he died, and made very good friends with her too.

[auriond]

I don't see how being called a faggot would insult you but you say the insult is meaningless, when it obviously isn't to you if you are insulted by it. 

I think it's the intent. It's said with the intent to insult, and regardless of what names the person chooses to use, you get the message.

[[Cameron]]

It only took Morrissey 20 years to come out of the closet, so stay calm gay agsers, there is time!

Sorry to rain on that parade Miguel, Morrissey has never come out. And according to Johnny Marr, he's had relationships with guys and girls.
But yes, The Smiths rock, speaking of which, I saw Johnny Marr with Modest Mouse last weekend. That was great

Also, for a while being called a fag really annoyed me because I was scared I was. I realized I was bi a while back and being called a fag didn't scare me anymore, so it's just another meaningless insult. It's always great fun making it backfire on a friend though
"You're such a fag."
"yeah" *wink and blow kiss*
Always freaks em out. Good for a giggle.

[Nikolas]

I really have no trouble if anyone goes about my manhood, or my sexuality or anything like that. Exactly because all problems in that sector are solved already! Who cares what anyone thinks when I will go every night back in my wife's arms, huh?

It is an insult to anyone who is insecure enough to use it as such!

[miguel]

Modest Mouse are a good band, I'm allways trying to pick Marr's guitar from the other instruments which is easy because he's such a good musician.
Morrissey did come out, I'm afraid, buy Uncut's last issue, there is something about it. Also, if you listen to 'You are the Quarry' album, you'll see it's all about coming out of the closet for Morrissey. Thank god for that, nobody has to suffer for 20 years! As for what Marr said about Mozz having had relations with girls, well? That's only normal, isn't it?
Most gay guys have relations with girls and then discover they don't like it that much!
all the best

It only took Morrissey 20 years to come out of the closet, so stay calm gay agsers, there is time!

Sorry to rain on that parade Miguel, Morrissey has never come out. And according to Johnny Marr, he's had relationships with guys and girls.
But yes, The Smiths rock, speaking of which, I saw Johnny Marr with Modest Mouse last weekend. That was great

Also, for a while being called a fag really annoyed me because I was scared I was. I realized I was bi a while back and being called a fag didn't scare me anymore, so it's just another meaningless insult. It's always great fun making it backfire on a friend though
"You're such a fag."
"yeah" *wink and blow kiss*
Always freaks em out. Good for a giggle.

[Paper Carnival]

I joke about my sexuality often, maybe more often than most. But if one questions my sexuality, I will get insulted. However, I don't consider being gay as an insult, just like I don't consider being a woman insulting. I believe when someone thinks you're a woman when you're a guy is insulting for similar reasons. And I hope I'm not insulting anyone right now by comparing gays to women, but it's the best analogy I could find .

When someone insults me it always hurts, no matter how stupid the insult was, or if I personally found the comment insulting at all. It's the thought that counts, not the actual insult.

Where I'm serving in the military, there's some guy who's obviously gay, but we all like him. I noticed that whenever we joke about gayhood, we never include him in our jokes when he's present. But when he's not, our gayhood jokes usually involve him (eg "put something on before X rapes you" etc).

[Andail]

Where I'm serving in the military, there's some guy who's obviously gay, but we all like him. I noticed that whenever we joke about gayhood, we never include him in our jokes when he's present. But when he's not, our gayhood jokes usually involve him (eg "put something on before X rapes you" etc).

Well, gay jokes can be funny and open-minded...this one however...

[brokenbutterfly]

It's always great fun making it backfire on a friend though
"You're such a fag."
"yeah" *wink and blow kiss*
Always freaks em out. Good for a giggle.

Awesome!  One of my friends does that too, it's hilarious. That's the right attitude! 

[Paper Carnival]

Where I'm serving in the military, there's some guy who's obviously gay, but we all like him. I noticed that whenever we joke about gayhood, we never include him in our jokes when he's present. But when he's not, our gayhood jokes usually involve him (eg "put something on before X rapes you" etc).

Well, gay jokes can be funny and open-minded...this one however...

I realize it sounds very strong in English, in my country it sounds much less offensive...

[Becky]

But if one questions my sexuality, I will get insulted.

I'm still not getting how someone enquiring what someone else's sexuality is is insulting.

[Stupot]

But if one questions my sexuality, I will get insulted.

I'm still not getting how someone enquiring what someone else's sexuality is is insulting.

I've been thinking about this... and in a way, you're right... it shouldn't cause offense.  But sexuality is a primal instinct so it's not really surprising that some people react negatively when theirs is doubted or questioned.

I think if someone feels the need to ask you if you are gay, then they must already have decided you look/sound/act gay, otherwise they would surely never ask.  Its not the kind of person you ask everyone is it?  So this person has judged you based on what you look like... nobody likes being judged.  And in a sense, that makes you self-conscious.  You start asking yourself 'Do I look/sound/act gay?' and you also begin to wonder, 'if he/she thinks I'm gay, then how many other people do... and why?', and to add to this there is also the element of 'what the hell has it got to do with them anyway?'...

Now all of this may or may not cause you insult, you may not even bat an eyelid, but some people are more self-conscious than others.  On top of this some people may have a personal issue, such as my girlfriend shortage I grumbled about in a previous post.

I think if you take all of that into consideration, it is quite understandable that someone may find himself getting angry when his sexuality has been questioned.

[Oliwerko]

You got a point Stu. If someone asked me and it possibly made me angry, I wouldnt react angry. It is not suitable to react angry. Maybe I am angry and there are tons of questions arising in my head, but I do not need to react angry/shout/anything.

[miguel]

that comes with age...

[Snake]

Being asked if you're gay:
I think it can hurt and frustrate when you're talking to, either a family member or friend, and you give them you're honest answer and they repeatedly ask - as if calling you a liar - and no matter what you say, they know they are right, and you're wrong.

For years, my two brothers thought I was gay. They would joke about me when I wasn't around and make wise-cracks infront of me.

They thought I was gay because I had the same one good friend in elementary school through middle school. I'd have him over to spend the night almost every weekend. We were always the goofy types, immature, but always had fun together. He was the best friend I ever had.
And for that I was gay. Assholes.
Yeah, it pisses me off till this day - not because they thought I was a homosexual, but the fact of them making fun of me whenever the timing was right (especially infront of other people) and that they were ignorant enough to actually believe that I was and not even ask me - not just ask me, but honestly want to know the truth, without the hurtful blows.


--Snake

[Emerald]

I don't get it. Gay people are awesome - I often joke about being gay, simply because it sets me apart from the knuckle-dragging mouth-breathing homophobes of North Dublin...
I mean, it's obvious to any who knows me that I'm not, but I'd far prefer to be mistaken as gay than mistaken as a typical drunken perverted college guy...

[Oliwerko]

Yeah, it pisses me off till this day - not because they thought I was a homosexual, but the fact of them making fun of me whenever the timing was right (especially infront of other people) and that they were ignorant enough to actually believe that I was and not even ask me - not just ask me, but honestly want to know the truth, without the hurtful blows.


--Snake

Yeah, you are surely right, but it pisses you off because they are making fun of you. If they were making fun of you and calling you anything else, would it piss you off less? I admit that being called a gay is not pleasant and can hurt, but I don't think it's OK to be insulted by it. Maybe by the your brothers you can be insulted, but does it really bind to the gay thing?

[Emerald]

That's even worse. I'm tired of this PC crap - people telling us what we can and cannot say, or be insulted by. Especially when it's an uninvolved third party.