Some lyrics on my pc...

[Afflict]

I found a backup cd the other day and well found some of my writing and stuff one there what do you think of this it was susspose to be lyrics to a game script I wrote.

The monster in my head is getting out
parole is over over now
i never felt this way before its worse
so worse so much more

the monster in my head is getting out
scream , shout get it out.
the monster in my head
the monster ...
in my head.....

the heat starting to surround my hands
drop by drop dripping down.
its like horror movie playing now
standing and watching it play out...
A scream a shout filled with doubt
hatred turning inside out
now I know i cant go back
too late I've killed on the attack..

this a monster in my head has freedom now
hes gotten out oh my god
save me from deliverance
give me life as you have before
please oh lord settle the score.

this monsters on the loose I cant control,
the freak inside anymore.
hes killed so many times before...
Ive killed so many times before...

this life is not what its suspose to be
god oh lord let me be
ive never seen it in this light
ive never had this urge to fight.

the demon in my head is getting out
i cant resist him any more
hes ruined my life taking my soul
ive lost all self control...

Possessed with anger consumed by hate
never never to debate
I will win you will see there is no stopping me

The devils on the loose I must obey
sit roll over good boy stay...

2004*07*12

[lo_res_man]

Interesting, but a lot of the imagery feels tired and used before. If I hada doller,  ( canadian) for every time I heard 'Monster in my head" I would be one rich canuck. so though thanx for shairing it feels, tired and already done. sorry.

[Afflict]

Kewl i dunno any songs with that... 

See thats why i have u guys 

[biothlebop]

Go for abstraction. Trim it down. At the moment, it's repeating itself.

[Afflict]

Yeah well its two years old so ill change it and revise it thanks.

[ManicMatt]

"All the monsters in my head.."

Didn't radiohead sing that on paranoid android?

Erm..... "You've got a monster in your parasol"

Oh and don't get me started on how many songs sing about "home"!

Thing is, I've come up with some musical ideas in my own head that I thought to be original, but I've then later heard done by someone else in a similiar way, but done years before my own!

I like the lyrics anyway! And in regards to it repeating itself, I think that's fine, as it is the flow of the song, and helps it become catchy. If it'd been a poem, then I'd have agreed with biothlebop.