Critique on basic storyline for a potential game.

[Trihan]

Okay, I've had this idea brewing in my head for a couple of years now, and I would dearly love to be able to make it a reality. I'm currently trying desperately to improve graphically or hire someone to do graphics for me (preferably the former, I like being self-sufficient) but that's a moot point and not at all what this topic is about. So let's get to the meat and potatoes of this thing, shall we?

Basically what I have in mind is a wacky character-centric game in a similar style to Day of the Tentacle about a laid-back, procrastinating schoolkid called Jeff who, as a result of accidentally locking himself in the school late at night, uncovers a plot by the government to demolish his hometown to make room for the world's largest car park.

He's not alone in this endeavour, however! Earlyish in the game he will encounter, and subsequently join forces with, a wisecracking talking rooster named Harold. A great lover of practical jokes and sarcastic retorts, and one hell of a guitar player.

Together (although their relationship is more love/hate than friendly at first) they must gather clues and evidence involving various key government figures and ultimately stop their plan before they're made homeless.

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I don't exactly have a full game script laid out here or anything, but I've put a great deal of thought into both characters and how they will interact with the world (and each other). Some of my inspirations and references will be pretty obvious (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, the aforementioned Day of the Tentacle, Beneath a Steel Sky and Invader Zim to name but a few). Don't ask me where I got the idea of Harold playing guitar. I just figured it'd be a suitable silly thing for a rooster to be capable of.

Feel free to make all and any critiques, suggestions, words of praise on my ingenuity and obviously superior wordplay skills, and/or death threats. It's all welcome! And ladies, I'm single. Form an orderly queue, please.

[Mr Flibble]

Hello, and welcome.
I think it sounds like a great idea, the sort of comic madcappery which would suit a lighthearted adventure game. I don't have much in the way of constructive criticism because I think the underlying idea is solid, and all you need to do now is start planning some puzzles and things. Which is the hard part, I can tell you.

[BarkingPup]

Hmm, I'm not entirely certain how Invader Zim fits into this (or will Jeff scream at Harold in Zimlish?) but it sounds like an interesting if slightly eccentric storyline.

It seems strange that everything sounds... relatively normal until you reach the 'Harold' part. I have to wonder if the game will contain pieces of fantasy as well as being steeped in reality.

It looks pretty solid as a storyline, however. It's funny, odd, and I would definitely be interested in it if I read a blurb like that. ^^

[Trihan]

The Invader Zim part was more my (desired) graphical style and the wacky sidekick angle. Also, it's not quite normal even from the beginning. The first puzzle involves getting out of the janitor's closet by blowing up the door.

[BarkingPup]

Heh, good luck with Jhonen-esque style! (Is it sad that it makes me want to play the game even more?). Well, if you were going for a G.I.R sidekick it would eat your inventory, sing about nonsensical destruction, and then proceed to help you with nothing and destroy your progress 

It does sound quite interesting and I'll look forward to it. *makes a note on notepad*

Um... interesting first puzzle. I'm supposing the Janitor is involved in illegal explosive smuggling? Cause, ya'know a school is the perfect cover!