Game Pitch Competition - Round 9: What’s Wrong With This Pitch-er? (VOTING)

[Stupot]

Voting is underway. Please vote using the poll above.


Game Pitch Competition - Round 9: “What's Wrong With This Pitch-er?”


The object of the competition is to present the best possible "elevator pitch" for an original adventure game.
Come up with a cool idea, and explain it very briefly to someone in order to catch their interest and make them excited about it. (Check out the last round to see how it goes.)

You probably know the drill by now, but if you don't...

Spoiler

Procedure

• Submit your game pitch via this form.
• I will post the entries (anonymously) as they come in, in order to inspire others to join.
• Submissions close 12th February. I will then open a thread poll for voting.
• Voting will last 7 days. Discussion and feedback on the entries is encouraged, but make sure to maintain anonymity.
• After voting is over, the results and authors of each entry become public.

Rules

• The pitch should be for some kind of adventure game (under a broad definition of the genre).
• Stick to the word limits: An elevator ride is not that long! (If you run over, those parts will be placed behind spoiler tags.)
• You may submit only one entry in the round.
• The entry should be anonymous. Do not reveal your authorship until voting closes.
• Do not vote for your own entry. It's not cool.

[close]

I'm looking forward to your pitches!

[Stupot]

Yo, New Kid Gotta Steal Sumpin
Steal or get beat up.
New-kid-on-the-block Logan is having a tough time. His dad got fired, so Logan and his parents had to downgrade to a different neighborhood. The dire financial situation is too much for Logan's parents; they yell...often. To escape the tension in the house, Logan spends time outside but is confronted by a gang of neighborhood kids. They say Logan has to steal “something weird” from Old Man McGregor's scary house before he can join the gang. Steal or get beat up.

[Stupot]

Mutiny at Mercury
A robot has to prevent a great crime without breaking the laws themself
You are a robot working at a mining station at mercury, and programmed to follow Asimov's three laws of robotics. When a small group of workers start conspiring to start a mutiny and kill the overseer, you are compelled to stop them but simultaneously forced to obey all commands of the mutineers and loyal workers alike and unable to harm any of them. You need to think out some clever loopholes to save the day.

[Stupot]

Dunning-Kruger Quest
How many conspiracy theories can you absorb in an hour?
You wake up with no memory of who you are or what is going on, but then you realize that you're just very dumb and this happens to you every morning.
Explore the rich environment of your parents' basement for hints for the next conspiracy videos you'll upload including:
Finding a stale corn chip that looks like the Illuminati symbol.
Two identical rats proving Simulation Theory.
Your F-scored tests from school proving your teachers were shape-shifting reptiles.
And much more!

[Stupot]

Panteufelhelden: Swiping Satan's Slippers
5 Imps 1 Bod = One Hell of a Party Game!
You and your demon buddies were house-sitting for Lucifer, when no-good cultists opened a portal to Hades and stole Satan's slippers. Get them back before all hell breaks loose (literally)!  Your only way onto Earth is by possessing the cult's human sacrifice. Stuck in one body, you all have to work together to control it and retrieve the infernal footwear.  One player points and clicks, others type suggestions in a chat window to unlock actions. Roles rotate regularly.

[Stupot]

Only a few more days, folks. Let's all pitch in.

[Stupot]

Decored: a Lara Croft adventure
Tomb Raider 2D demake
A legendary treasure hidden in an ancient temple, Lara Croft is looking for it. Ready for 3d action, jumping very high and shooting enemies in middle air? ...Not this time. It's the old 2D folks,  Lara have to do the usual avoiding traps - solving enviroments - fighting monsters in the classic point and click way. Maybe her thoughest challenge.

[Stupot]

Crumbling Elites
A small town doctor investigates a deadly disease
A small town is quarantined when people start getting sick. Their doctor is their last chance. During her examinations, it strikes her odd that all of the victims seem to be the town's top people.   They all worked in the big city, in high-end jobs, but decided they want a simpler life. Or was there another reason for their move?  The doctor will try to solve this but the quirky town's people will not make it any easier.



Note: last chance to send some pitches if you're in. We could do with a couple more.

[Stupot]

The Intergalactic Republic
Bringing peace and order to the universe...
In this planet colonization sim-adventure game hybrid, you are in charge of an Intergalactic Republic battle ship and are sent on missions to add planets to the republic. However, you soon realize that many planets do not want to join, and any enemies you encounter are rebels hanging on to their independence. You can make the choice to keep colonizing or to disobey your superiors and stand up for the people of the universe.

[Stupot]

Time to vote. You have 7 days to choose your favourite pitch (using the poll above).

Enjoy.

[Stupot]

Sorry for the double post.

One more day to vote. Does anyone want to start guessing whose is whose?
I'll release a list of participants tomorrow to narrow down the guesses.

[Mandle]

Voted

[TheFrighter]

Done!

_

[Stupot]

So, the voting period is over. Well done to the author of Mutiny at Mercury.

Here is a randomized list of the authors for those who want to spend a day or two matching them with their pitches:

Tgames
Snarky
tzachs
Mandle
Durq
TheFrighter
Blondbraid

[TheFrighter]

My guess: Mutiny at Mercury is Durq's.

_

[Snarky]

Seems things were a little bit slower this round, but still some really nice entries, and a clear winner!

My belated feedback:

Yo, New Kid Gotta Steal Sumpin
As with a lot of these pitches, I feel this entry gives me a good idea of the setup for the story, but very little of what the game is actually like. Is this a Maniac Mansion-type game where you have to creep around a spooky mansion, or what?

Mutiny at mercury
Congratulations on the win! The pitch reads very much like an Asimov “Powell & Donovan” story â€" though with the robot itself as protagonist. The three laws add an interesting gameplay element. My only quibble with the setup is that in case of a murderous mutiny, the first law is activated, overriding other considerations like following commands. So you would have to set up some sort of dilemma that keeps the robots from instantly reporting or suppressing the mutiny.

Oh, and I wanted to add that if this game was actually made, I'd really hope that the visual style and design was based on 1950s scifi art.

Dunning-Kruger Quest
I may be missing something, because I don't quite understand the player's motivation in this game (as in: what is my goal?). And pitches that go on about how your character is an idiot or a loser have a big hurdle to overcome in order to make their appeal apparent, I think.

Panteufelhelden: Swiping Satan's Slippers
So, this is my entry. I quite like it, but I wasn't quite sure I managed to convey the multiplayer gameplay concept in so few words. The title is a pun in German. (A play for that all-important German vote!)

Decored: a Lara Croft adventure
Sorry, but as I read them, the rules specifically disallow games based on existing properties.

Crumbling Elites
I love a good mystery, and this sounds intriguing. And I think it would be cool to play as a doctor: I can't think of very many adventure games where you do, apart from maybe Watson in some Sherlock Holmes titles.

The Intergalactic Republic
This sounds like a pretty solid, compelling mix, but also fairly generic. I think the concept could do really well if you added some hook or Unique Selling Point to the pitch (and no, choosing your allegiance is not much of a USP).

[Durq]

Yo, New Kid Gotta Steal Sumpin
As with a lot of these pitches, I feel this entry gives me a good idea of the setup for the story, but very little of what the game is actually like. Is this a Maniac Mansion-type game where you have to creep around a spooky mansion, or what?


Panteufelhelden: Swiping Satan's Slippers
So, this is my entry. I quite like it, but I wasn't quite sure I managed to convey the multiplayer gameplay concept in so few words. The title is a pun in German. (A play for that all-important German vote!)

Yo, New Kid will be a February MAGS entry, so we'll see...

I voted for Panteufelhelden: Swiping Satan's Slippers. It seems like a great recipe for fun and comedy.

[Durinde]

Never got around to submitting this time around, but there's always next time!

Congratulations to the winner. Here's my take on the entries.

Yo, New Kid Gotta Steal Sumpin

Ok premise, I feel you'd have to make the main character REALLY likable for this to work. He's in a terrible situation and I feel like there's got to be some light at the end of the tunnel aside from not getting beat up. A lot would depend on the execution.

Mutiny at mercury

Got my vote. I think you could craft some interesting puzzles in working around the laws of robotics with an interesting story to boot.

Dunning-Kruger Quest

Seems like an OK idea for a shorter/experimental project. Nothing about it really grabbed me though.


Panteufelhelden: Swiping Satan's Slippers

Ok, interesting idea.... but I'd like to make one suggestion. Instead of having a single player in control and the rest chatting/giving suggestions... have 5 players and each controls a different sense. One player "looks" while another player "smells" etc... Each player would have to communicate the information they have to help each other solve the puzzles. Of course it's your game not mine, so take the suggestion with a grain of salt.

Decored: a Lara Croft adventure

There's nothing wrong with making a fan game in this style, but I would rather hear YOUR stories.


Crumbling Elites

My runner up. Solid pitch. Something I could picture myself playing. I just found the 3-laws mechanic of the other game slightly more interesting.

The Intergalactic Republic

I'm reminded of Actraiser in the mashing of the genres. It can work, but you would have to do both elements REALLY well for it to work. That being said, I enjoyed the concept.

[Snarky]

Panteufelhelden: Swiping Satan's Slippers

Ok, interesting idea.... but I'd like to make one suggestion. Instead of having a single player in control and the rest chatting/giving suggestions... have 5 players and each controls a different sense. One player "looks" while another player "smells" etc... Each player would have to communicate the information they have to help each other solve the puzzles. Of course it's your game not mine, so take the suggestion with a grain of salt.

Well, five players was just an example; it should work with any number of players from 2 to 12 (or more), and players possibly dropping in and out during gameplay.

My gameplay idea is to combine text chat with a parser: you can type whatever you want in chat, but if what you type is recognized by the parser as a command, it becomes available.  The player who's currently in point-and-click mode can't chat, and can't carry out any actions either (except for walk and maybe look), until they're typed in by one of the other players. At that point they pop up on screen somehow (I'm thinking they would be tied to the hotspot, so that hovering over the hotspot brings up a list of all the actions players have typed for that hotspot; when another is added, it flashes on screen/the hotspot lights up).

So the typers and the point-and-click player have to cooperate to do anything. Optionally, players get points for being the first to type a particular valid action, when their action is attempted, and for solving particular puzzles, encouraging competition to discover the possibilities of the environment first.

I was thinking it would combine the flexibility and expressiveness of parser-based interaction with the convenience of point-and-click, distributing the work of typing between multiple players and embedding it in social chat. It's an idea I've had for a long time, but I could never come up with a good idea for an actual game to use it in where it would make sense before.

[Durinde]

My gameplay idea is to combine text chat with a parser: you can type whatever you want in chat, but if what you type is recognized by the parser as a command, it becomes available.  The player who's currently in point-and-click mode can't chat, and can't carry out any actions either (except for walk and maybe look), until they're typed in by one of the other players. At that point they pop up on screen somehow (I'm thinking they would be tied to the hotspot, so that hovering over the hotspot brings up a list of all the actions players have typed for that hotspot; when another is added, it flashes on screen/the hotspot lights up).

So the typers and the point-and-click player have to cooperate to do anything. Optionally, players get points for being the first to type a particular valid action, when their action is attempted, and for solving particular puzzles, encouraging competition to discover the possibilities of the environment first.

I dig it.