Game Pitch Competition - Round 10: "The Pitch Is Back!" - Voting!

[Snarky]

Game Pitch Competition â€" Round 10: "The Pitch Is Back!"

The object of the competition is to present the best possible "elevator pitch" for an original adventure game.
Come up with a cool idea, and explain it very briefly to someone in order to catch their interest and make them excited about it. (Check out the last round to see how it goes.)

The topic for the round â€" in honor of the return of the contest and the True Meaning of Easterâ,,¢ â€" is Return. Interpret it how you will.

The contest follows the ancient ways...

Spoiler

Procedure

• Submit your game pitch via this form.
• I will post the entries (anonymously) as they come in, in order to inspire others to join.
• Submissions close 26th April. I will then open a thread poll for voting.
• Voting will last 7 days (until 3rd May). Discussion and feedback on the entries is encouraged, but make sure to maintain anonymity.
• After voting is over, the results and authors of each entry become public.

Rules

• The pitch should be for some kind of adventure game (under a broad definition of the genre).
• Stick to the word limits: An elevator ride is not that long! (If you run over, as measured by the MS Word wordcount+common sense, any excess will be placed behind spoiler tags.)
• You may submit only one entry in the round.
• The entry should be anonymous. Do not reveal your authorship or discuss the authorship of other entries until voting closes.
• Do not vote for your own entry. It's not cool.

[close]

I'm looking forward to your pitches!

[Snarky]

Entry the first:

Return From Death - Future Vision!
Leonardo DaVinci, Abraham Lincoln and Albert Einstein fighting off Alien Threat!

The End of the world is near! A giant colony of an advanced Alien species attacks earth! All hope is lost! The terranian military force does not stand a chance against the extra-terrestrial army!

But destiny gives earth one last shot! In an awe-inspiring, fire-spewing and apocalyptic event, the one hundred smartest people who ever dwelt the earth return from the dead!

Will DaVinci, Einstein, Musk, Plato... be able to conjure up a plan to destroy the Alien fleet?

[Snarky]

Entry the second:

Vox Populi
A bumbling politician kicked up the steps of destiny.

You were a statesman in the Emerald City. Your lowly position was plain, comfortable and safe. Your mouth is bigger than your ambitions, however, and now you are in the deep end with the big fish and you are fighting for your life. Trials, mysteries, quests and duels awaits, and only your finest oration, politics and knavish tricks can save you. Restore the power of the Smaragdean Throne, or be crushed before it.

[Snarky]

Entry the third:

Acts
A rebel sect has a “Reservoir Disciples” facedown after their leader is killed

Fleeing the garden, fearing arrest, you stayed on the move until daybreak. Now, in the morning light, you set yourself three tasks: meet back up with the others, work out who betrayed you, and learn the fate of your leader, the prophet Yeshua.

In the days after the crucifixion, you and other disciples confront each other with different stories, accusations and interpretations of events, as you struggle to understand what it all means, and what’s next. Then, a stranger arrives...

[Snarky]

Entry the another:

Return of the Makkk
Aliens known as "The Makkk" were defeated two centuries ago... but now they're back!

200 years ago, your planet freed itself from the clutches of tyrannical alien invaders known as "The Makkk". As they approach it's clear their technology has advanced at a much faster pace than your own...

All appears lost, but a discovery is made that could change everything - then contact with the team working on it is lost. Your task is to find this discovery and work out how to use it before The Makkk enslave your people again...

[Snarky]

Entry the one more. Keep 'em coming!

Walk away and tell no one
When doing nothing is a crime... again

You thought you've forgotten about Zach Brzezinski, that pale looser boy from your school who everyone was making fun of, when ten years later you meet a seemingly familiar man at a bus stop.
He claims he's back for revenge and make everyone pay.
Is he for real? What he's up to? And are you going to do anything about it?

[Snarky]

It's another entry!

ReTad of the Jedi
Tad is mad.

Self-proclaimed Jedi Tad Turdwalker is mad. He's been mad all summer, for on the last day of school three months ago, some bully (under the influence of a Sith lord, no doubt) stole his vintage twelve-inch Chewbacca doll.

Now, finally, the first day of school has arrived, and Tad is back. Help Tad figure out who stole his precious Chewbacca and how to exact revenge all while navigating the start of the new school year.

[Snarky]

Very last chance to submit an entry!

[Snarky]

Bump because voting is now open (poll at the top of the thread). So take another look at all the entries and pick your favorite!

You're also encouraged to leave feedback (please maintain anonymity, though, by not revealing which â€" if any â€" entry is yours, or speculate about who may be responsible for any of them).

[CaptainD]

Some interesting ideas here, I've gone for Acts because it just seems to have that extra bit of intrigue and fascinating possibilities.

[Stupot]

I would definitely play some of these but my favourite has to be Return of the Makkk.

I was working on one but I didn’t get to finish it. Maybe I’ll turn it into a story for FWC or something.

[Snarky]

Hope to see some more votes before it closes! (We currently have a tie for first place.)

I found it quite interesting how the entries this round all seemed to pair up. Two games about foiling alien invasions, two about geeks getting revenge, and two that seem vaguely noir-ish in exotic settings.

Here are 12 cents, to be divided equally between the entries:

Return From Death - Future Vision!
It's an interesting premise for a storyâ€"though really, Musk? I have to wonder about the "apocalyptic event" that brought the dead to life. If we have God on our side, surely the aliens don't stand a chance? As so often in this contest, what I'm missing is an idea of what the game is actually like. For example, it's unclear who you play as. With 100 boffins to manage, when I try to imagine it, it's less of an adventure game and more some kind of tactical game like X-COM, where you put together squads of eggheads to go on missions.

Vox Populi
"Emerald City" made me think Seattle (and Wadjet Eye Games), so I got a bit thrown when I got to the bit about duels and the "Smaragdean Throne." I like the concept of playing as a corrupt and inept politician. Bit of a film noir vibe, and the pitch hints at some unusual gameplay mechanics. I have a lot of questions, but I like what I hear so far!

Acts
So… Jesus? I guess the inevitable question for any game with a Biblical theme is: Who is this for? Or more bluntly: "How Christian is it?" Because appealing to the devout (undoubtedly the biggest potential market for any disciple-based game) will require very different story choices from anything I would find interesting. The "Reservoir Disciples" tagline is promising in that respect, and I like the idea of playing it as a kind of mystery. (Let me guess: The traitor is Judas! … Right?)

Return of the Makkk
Is this an extraterrestrial branch of the KKK? (You said you'd never turn on me. You lied to me!) So, we have a setup for a "find the missing science team and their discovery" story. That's fine, and I think we're all familiar enough that we can fill in a lot of the blanks. Still, I'd like to know something about where we're going and who we are. I'm also a little unsure of the tone. The title makes me think it's jokey, but the pitch reads pretty straight.

Walk away and tell no one
I really like the title. At all inspired by the movie? It took me a while to work out the premise, because I assumed that this was an "I know what you did last summer"-type situation where you're one of the targets he's trying to get revenge on. ("How is doing nothing a crime?") But I think I've got it: he's not threatening you, he's asking for your help, isn't he? Assisting someone with their revenge spree, or stopping them… that's actually a very cool concept. Would seem to offer a lot of potential for Unavowed-style moral dilemmas.

ReTad of the Jedi
This reminds me a lot of No-Action Jackson, and that's an AGS classic that I definitely wouldn't mind a spiritual sequel to. It will stand or fall on how funny it actually is.

[Reiter]

Done and voted! It was not easy to choose. I like all of these ideas.

Now, I mean to leave more detailed feed-back on all entries, when the voting is over. To be on the safe side. There is quite a lot to talk of!

[Snarky]

OK, very last chance to vote now!

[Snarky]

The winning entries are Vox Populi and Acts. Congratulations to the winners!

If you'd like to give more feedback now, or discuss the various entries, please go ahead. You can also start guessing about who is behind each entry, given that the contestants are (in alphabetical order):

CaptainD
Crimson Wizard
Durq
Reiter
Snarky
TheManInBoots

[CaptainD]

First of all, thanks for reviving and hosting this competition Snarky! 


Hmm... I'll take a stab at working out one or two writers but obviously not all or it will be obvious which one I wrote!!


I think Return From Death - Future Vision! might be Durq?

Have a feeling that Walk away and tell no one could be Snarky.

Maybe ReTad of the Jedi is by Crimson Wizard?

A Snarky already mentioned, it was strange that the ideas seemed to almost pair off naturally - in fact as soon as I'd posted mine I noticed how similar it was to one of the existing entries, which I hadn't read before posting.

[Snarky]

First of all, thanks for reviving and hosting this competition Snarky! 

Thanks, CaptainD. There doesn't seem to be a ton of interest in it, or maybe the forums are just going through doldrums (spring weather getting everybody out of their quarantine digs?), but it's an activity I always enjoy.

It's a negative on your guess for me, BTW.

[Stupot]

Return from Death Crimson Wizard
Vox Populi Durq
Acts Reiter
Return of the Makk Captain D
Walk Away and Tell No One TheManInBoots
ReTad of the Jedi Snarky

I’m not too confident about these guesses but I hope to narrow it down by one or two.

[CaptainD]

You got me Stu. Pump up the world!

[Stupot]

You got me Stu. Pump up the world!

I knew that you’d be back.