Fortnightly Writing Competition - TRAVEL GUIDE! (RESULTS)

[JudasFm]

I did a quick search and I don't think this one's been done, at least not recently. So let's get started!

Whether you're writing a game, a story, a screenplay or a full-blown novel, one of the most important things is the world setting. The richly imagined five worlds envisaged in Weis and Hickman's fantasy Death Gate cycle are as vital as the characters. And what would Sierra games have been without all those extra forest/desert/mountain screens where one could meet an untimely demise by wolf, falling off a cliff, drowning or lack of custard pie? Well...probably a lot less frustrating. But I digress.

I want to know all about your world. However, I only want to know about your world, such as a mocked up Wikitravel or Lonely Planet entry, or a write-up in a newspaper, or a monologue by someone doing a travel show, or an interview with someone who just came back from that world. Or anything else along those lines you can think of.

So to summarize, your goal is to write about your fictional world in a semi-official style.

-Maximum word count: 3000. If you go over by a little bit, it's fine, but this isn't NaNo
-Only your own fictional places or take on those places. It's okay to write about a city on Mars. It's also okay to write about New York under the rule of aliens or magicians or anything which would make it drastically different from what it is now, but not New York as it is at the moment. You can write about a world, or a country, or a city, or a district of a city; it's entirely up to you.
-Non-human civilizations are also welcome

Judging criteria:

-Most Believable World. That's not to say you can't have a civilization living in the heart of the Sun, but if that civilization is human, you're going to need to explain how they avoid being burned to a crisp
-Most Interesting World. Not necessarily the world we'd most like to visit, but the one which captures our imagination the most
-Best Writing Technique. Word choice, turn of phrase...you know the kind of thing
-Most Informative Entry. If I were going to travel to your world, would your entry tell me what I needed to know in advance (things to bring, currency, things to watch out for etc)

Deadline is midnight Sunday 28 June. Voting will start on Monday 29 June.

[Mandle]

Ohhhhhhh...very nice theme!!!

Kinda an "Advenccidental Tourist" type thing, eh?

[Baron]

I don't know about 3000 words, but I've got 30 written so far.  And I'm pretty happy with those 30.  I'm thinking, if all else fails, I can just copy and paste them 100x to round my entry out.

[JudasFm]

I don't know about 3000 words, but I've got 30 written so far.  And I'm pretty happy with those 30.  I'm thinking, if all else fails, I can just copy and paste them 100x to round my entry out.

Oh...bug's eyes

Reading your post, I just realized that I used completely the wrong word when talking about that part. I meant, of course, to say limit, not target (I meant target in the sense of 'this is the maximum amount you have to work with').

I am so, so sorry, everyone! I've edited the post; hopefully it's a bit clearer now.

[Mandle]

JOURNEY INTO TO THE ULTRAREALMS

"We are about to commence boarding on the ULTRAREALMS EXPRESS. Please fill out your boarding inventory form as follows..."

• _____________________________



• _____________________________



• _____________________________

"When packing for a voyage into the ULTRAREALMS you are allowed only THREE items upon boarding, so always be sure to pack carefully..."

(You will need to actually write stuff down on actual paper for this trip so please dig through your drawers until you find the ancient tools needed...)

You pack three of the following items:

Spoiler

A lighter:

Spoiler

Please write down that you have a lighter in your inventory.

[close]

A towel:

Spoiler

Please write down that you have a towel in your inventory.

[close]

A rope:

Spoiler

Please write down that you have a rope in your inventory.

[close]

A knife:

Spoiler

Please write down that you have a knife in your inventory.

[close]

A boarding ticket:

Spoiler

Please write down that you have a boarding ticket in your inventory.

[close]

A bottle of water:

Spoiler

Please write down that you have a bottle of water in your inventory.

[close]

[close]

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You walk down the corridor to the leap-off portal into the ULTRAREALMS...A large lady in a silk shirt and a short skirt steps out in front of you and...

Spoiler

...Demands your boarding ticket...

Do you:

Give her your boarding ticket:

Spoiler

In which case she waves you on through...

And you need to cross your boarding ticket off from your inventory...

[close]

OR

Lie your way through:

Spoiler

In which case she in eventually convinced by your lies...

And you need to add "LIAR" to your inventory...

[close]

[close]

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Either way:

You arrive at the leap-off portal and step through it. Upside is down for a while and inside is out for a bit...

And then:

Spoiler

Everything feels fuzzy in your head...It's hard to focus on your surroundings...

Do you:

Drink your bottle of water:

Spoiler

In which case your head clears quickly...

And you need to cross your bottle of water off from your inventory list...And add: "Empty bottle" in its place...

[close]

OR

Cut your hand with your knife:

Spoiler

In which case the pain clears your head...

And you need to change "knife" to "bloody knife" in your inventory and also add "BLEEDING HAND"

At this point you can either bind your BLEEDING HAND with your towel:

Spoiler

You bind the wound with the towel tightly and, while it still hurts like hell, the bleeding stops. Please cross "BLEEDING HAND" and "Towel" off from your inventory and add "Bloody Towel".

[close]

Or just let it keep bleeding:

Spoiler

The cut in your hand continues to bleed...You worry about how much blood you might be losing...

[close]

[close]

OR

Wait it out:

Spoiler

In which case you roll around on the ground dizzy as hell for a long while before everything comes back into focus...

And you need to add "STOIC" to your inventory...

[close]

[close]

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In any case:

You finally recover your senses after the leap-off and see your first view of the ULTRAREALMS you have come here to write your travel guide about...

What you see is simply incredible and was well worth saving for years for...

You see...

The sky. The sky is alive with every hue of the spectrum which intertwine and undulate in an almost erotic manner.

The land. The land seems to be alive somehow and constantly on the crawl. The closest thing you have experienced to the sensation under your feet is standing in the surf just as it washes up onto the beach and feeling your feet sink under the displaced sand except that here you do not sink.

The view. The view from your leap-in point is one of horizons distant beyond anything you have ever seen. You can see much farther than is possible on a spherical world. You can see for what looks like thousands of miles. You can see from the tall grass fields you stand in down into the hollow before you which harbours a quaint village. Smoke rises lazily from the chimneys of the dozen or so shanties standing around what looks like a village square. Beyond the village you see a ridge topped with a line of what seem to be crystal-like growths forming a wall for as far as you can see both to the left and the right. Even further on beyond that you can see lakes, rivers, mountain ranges, and what seems to be a massive city with towers that reach up to and even cut through the misty clouds that pervade the sky under its overshadowing brilliance.

A rock. A rock lies at your feet. When you look down at the rock you see what looked like an eye on it slip shyly out of sight around down and below its under-surface...

Spoiler

Do you:

Pick up the rock:

Spoiler

If you have BLEEDING HAND in your inventory:

Spoiler

When you pick up the rock an orifice opens in it and a thin protuberance snakes out from within which seeks out and finds the cut in your palm. It enters into you through the cut and you feel indescribable pain as it works its way upwards inside your arm and roots itself in the bone of your shoulder joint. You writhe around on the fluxing ground for some time. After you recover your senses and can stand again you examine what your arm has now become:

You now have a rock hanging from the cut in your palm by a thin but resilient cord. The cut in your hand has healed over into a long scar. The eye in the rock has closed, seemingly sated by its symbiotic state with your arm.

Please write down: "Rock Mace" in your inventory and cross off "BLEEDING HAND" and then close the "Pick up the rock" options window and continue on with the other options available to you.

[close]

If not:

Spoiler

You pick up the rock and feel the eye slide back up around from under you palm to look at you.

If you have LIAR in your inventory:

Spoiler

The eye closes and its lid becomes indistinguishable from the rest of the rock's surface. You drop the rock back onto the ground. It is now useless.

Please close the "Pick up the rock" options window and continue on with the other options available to you.

[close]

If you do not have LIAR in your inventory:

Spoiler

If you have STOIC in your inventory:

Spoiler

The eye seems to stare deep into your soul and then seems to smile somehow.

Please write down: "Pet Rock" in your inventory and then close the "Pick up the rock" options window and continue on with the other options available to you.

[close]

If you do not have STOIC in your inventory:

Spoiler

The eye blinks a few times while looking at you, rolls itself upwards and over in some kind of emotional gesture and then goes back to a noncommittal stance.

Please write down: "Rock" in your inventory and then close the "Pick up the rock" options window and continue on with the other options available to you.

[close]

[close]

[close]

[close]

Go down to the village:

Spoiler

You wade through the shoulder-high grass of the field and make your way down into the hollow. The smoke from the shanties seems to rise only slightly into the air before settling back into the hollow and soon you are coughing your way through a bitter-smelling mist. As your eyes sting and water you arrive in the village square.

A sign in front of you with arrows pointing to the left and right says either "INFORMED WITCH" or "DEFORMED BITCH" on the left and either "TOWN WIZARD" or "TORN GIZZARD" on the right...

It's hard to tell though with your eyes watering as they are:

Do you:

Wash your eyes out with your bottle of water (you need to have the bottle of water in your inventory and not have already used it up). In which case:

Spoiler

The letters on the sign come into focus and you can see that the left arrow correctly reads: "DEFORMED BITCH" and the right arrow reads: "TOWN WIZARD". You did not need to use all of the water so there is no change needed in your inventory. Please close this option and continue on with the left/right options still available to you.

[close]

Go left:

Spoiler

You turn left and, out of the smokey mist the porch of a shanty fades into view. Upon the porch sits what might have been a stunning blonde-haired woman except for the fact that her face is built entirely upside-down: Her beautiful blue eyes are embedded in her perfectly curved jaw-line. The nostrils of her exquisite nose face upwards. The lips of her sensual mouth are planted upside-down in her forehead. Her earlobes droop downwards from the tops of her ears.

[close]

Go right:

Spoiler

[close]

[close]

Skirt around the village and go to the crystal wall:

Spoiler

[close]

[close]

(TO BE CONTINUED)

[Mandle]

Hehehe....yeah...My post above is going to be a continuing work in progress for quite some time so please stay tuned for the progress of this experiment in forums-based interactive fiction...

[JudasFm]

I like it It's certainly an original take on the prompt

[Mandle]

I like it It's certainly an original take on the prompt

I rarely do as I'm told...

(Unfortunately I also rarely finish what I start...But hopefully I'll find the time and inspiration to finish this...)

[Sinitrena]

(Unfortunately I also rarely finish what I start...But hopefully I'll find the time and inspiration to finish this...)

I can't help with the time, but I'm sending some virtual inspiration to you. zzzzzzzzzzuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmm. It should be with you now. I'm intriged by your beginning.

----------------------

Elsestra

- A Guide to the City of Elsestra and the Culture of the Flajabai -

I. Elsestra â€" City in the Ocean
   1. An Introduction
   2. Important Travel Information

II. Culture
   1. Language
   2. Religion
   3. Festival

III. Points of Interest
   1. Temple of Riwaloi
   2. The Black Steps
   3. Crevice and Gardens
   4. Wreck of the Christina-Maria

IV. Welcome to Elsestra!


I. Elsestra â€" City in the Ocean
   1. An Introduction

   Ten years ago, nobody would have believed that a second sapient race lives on the same planet as we do, even though there were legends and myths about mermaids since ancient times. Of course, these legends and stories never depicted the rich culture and history of the Flajabai in an even slightly accurate way. They only got the physical description of the Flajabai right: They are indeed humanoid, with shimmering fishtails and the upper body of a human being (though they would of course say that we have the upper body of a Flajabai).

Since the discovery of this extraordinary people and the beginning of diplomatic relations, a mere six years have gone by and we still know very little about them. Nonetheless, the Flajabai would be more than happy, as they assure us, to meet our people in a less formal setting than through diplomats and researchers.

Therefore, we are very proud to present the first tourist guide to the city of Elsestra, one of twelve cities of the Flajabai we are aware of and the first to open its gates (so to speak; Elsestra has no city gates) to visitors.

Of course, this is a rather new and delicate situation, so please make sure to read this guide carefully.


   2. Important Travel Information

   As an underwater city, Elsestra is of course only accessible for able-bodied people. We strongly discourage anyone not meeting the physical standards from booking a trip. It is absolutely necessary that you are an experienced deep-sea diver and familiar with the usual equipment. We do not take any responsibility for accidents due to your own mistakes.

The number of visitors to Elsestra is restricted to 25 per day and only one-day tickets are available.

We recommend that you arrive at the platform in the ocean at least two days before your actual trip to familiarize yourself with the equipment and our safety measures.

The trip begins at 10.00 am. You are transported down to the ground of the ocean by a rope winch and are then free to explore Elsestra on your own for five hours. Additional oxygen is available at the rope where our employees are also ready to answer all questions you might have (via radio).

You can return to the surface whenever you wish. Just let our staff know and they will hook you up to the rope again so that you can be transported back up at a healthy speed. Medical personnel is available at the platform as well.

Please follow all rules mentioned in this guide and those explained to you at a mandatory introductory seminar at 8.00 am on the day of your trip. Please be aware that we cannot guarantee your safety even if you follow all rules. A trip to Elsestra is completely at your own risk.



II. Culture
   1. Language

   As we only established contact with the Flajabai six years ago, very little is known about their daily lives and their customs. Even their language is largely a mystery to us and nobody was yet able to learn it. The Flajabai on the other hand had no difficulties to learn some of the sign languages available to us, making communication with the Flajabai possible. They are not able to learn any of our spoken languages as their vocal cords are not capable of forming the necessary sounds.

They can and do make sounds that usually sound like screeching to us. As such, their own language is a combination of signs and this eerie screech, that changes only frequently in volume and tone pitch. Apparently, it is important how loud the first tone of a conversation was to determine the meaning of all following tones in a given conversation and also of their signs.

One might wonder how we come to call the city Elsestra and the people Flajabai: After contact was established and many Flajabai had learned signs for letters, they spelled these names for us, independent from each other.

The Flajabai have a system of writing, that is based on criss-crossing diagonal lines carved into stone or stitched into cloth made of algae, and a long tradition of poetry. But as with their spoken language we were not yet able to decipher it. One of the most famous poems of the Flajabai is The Song of the Waves:



The current touches the hair of the maiden
and ripples her scales.
Where the world becomes two-dimensional (meaning the surface)
the water that rises and falls
takes her away.

A recitation of this poem can last as long as three hours or as little as fifteen seconds.


   2. Religion

   Even though the Flajabai believe that all written text created by them is religious in nature, we know very little about their actual beliefs. (Interestingly enough, they don't consider text written by humans in any way religious, not even when they copy it.) They are very accommodating when we ask them to translate texts for us but there doesn't seem to be anything connecting separate texts. There are fictional stories, historical accounts, poetry, dramas and jokes available but the Flajabai tell us that all these stories are part of their religion and therefore true.

There might have been a misunderstanding in the definition of religion and further research is necessary.

There are some aspects of the beliefs of the Flajabai we are fairly certain about, though: The Flajabai follow most likely a monotheistic religion and all of them visit the temple of Riwaloi on special days called rawoltamoi. They don't have priest or religious orders and there doesn't seem to be a distinction between religion and government. Political decisions are made in the temple on rawoltamoi. We do not know if these are made in a democratic way because no outsider is allowed into the temple during this time.

The Flajabai don't appoint representatives for anything. In the diplomatic relations we have with the Flajabai, every member, even children, can and does talk for the whole city or even the whole people.

It should also be noted that the Flajabai are cannibalistic and eat their deceased as a matter of course. (We recommend that you do not eat anything in Elsestra.)

No special traditions are connected with either death, birth, marriage or any other change in life we would consider important, though we can say for sure that the Flajabai do indeed marry and are usually monogamous. Divorce also seems to exist.


   3. Festival

   In irregular intervals, the Flajabai hold a festival. We assume that it is religious in nature, even though this festival is never, as far as we know, held on rawoltamoi. On this day the Flajabai converge at the Black Steps, their theatre, for performances of new dramas, recitations of poetry and sports.

The participants of this game divide into five teams that all play at the same time. Unfortunately, we are unable to tell what the objective of these games is. The five teams all position themselves around the middle of the Black Steps (see III.2.) and start to swim up and to the outside at a signal. After that, they swim at each other but never touch.

Though we are assured that there is a system, the players choose from time to time, seemingly at random, members of the audience to participate and they sometimes lie down on the steps themselves, so that the number of players is constantly changing.

After a set amount of time â€" somewhere between thirty minutes and four hours â€" the game ends and one team is declared the winner. That is to say, all players active for this team at the time are seen as winners, but not those who originally participated. It is possible that one player ends the game in a different team than the one he started in, or that no original member of the team plays to the end.

If a player asks you to participate, you are expected to do so. Everything else would be a grave affront.

After the end of the game, the Flajabai share a great meal.



III. Points of Interest
   1. Temple of Riwaloi

   The first thing you normally see when you reach the ground in Elsestra is the Temple of Riwaloi. There are two simple reasons for this: (1) The temple is located right next to the rope and (2) it is the only building you are probably able to recognise as such.

When you see the Temple of Riwaloi for the first time, you are probably reminded of ancient Greek architecture, especially the temple of Poseidon in Paestum. But while there are similarities, the differences are more important and easy to see, even for someone not overly familiar with art history.

The architectural style is usually referred to as elsestrian, but at the time of this publication we are not familiar with any other religious buildings by the Flajabai, so this might be a misnomer.

Contrary to Greek architecture, the Temple of Riwaloi is not adorned with columns but with pillars, which feature flutes and capitals similar to the Doric order, though the number of flutes is not prescribed. Some of the pillars have up to fifty-six flutes, some as few as fourteen.

Six pillars stand in front of the entrance and both sides have twelve pillars each. There are non at the back wall or at the corners. The middle two of the front pillars are turned so that their edges greet the visitor, while all others show their sides to the open space around the temple. A pitched roof that is broken-up sporadicly lies on the Doric capitals of the pillars.

No pictures or ornaments decorate the stones but florescent mosses grow on all walls and give the temple an eerie light that some even describe as frightening.

The inside of the temple is completely empty. Mosses grow there as well but they are not allowed free range. They are cut into complicated patterns by the Flajabai. These patterns are changed in irregular intervals, ranging from five days to seventeen weeks. Visitors are allowed into the temple at all times with the exception of the days the mosses are cut. These days, called rawoltamoi, are considered religious holidays (see II.2.).

Please be advised that researchers have not yet found a pattern in the rawoltamoi and it is therefore not possible to guarantee that you will be able to see the inside of the temple on your trip. Please be also aware that it is considered sacrilegious to enter the temple clothed or even wearing any king of accessory. You will have to strip completely naked and remove your oxygen for a visit of the temple.


   2. The Black Steps

   The Black Steps are similar to an ancient amphitheatre in their function. They are places of worship as much as places of entertainment.

As the name suggests, these rather large steps â€" they are about a metre high each â€" are coated in a black layer that makes them completely smooth to the touch and constantly cleaned. There is no gap visible between them and some researchers speculate that they were cut out of one giant rock. We don't know for sure, though, yet. The Flajabai are not forthcoming with any information about them.

Even though their function is that of an arena, their layout is more akin to a pyramid, though round instead of quadrangular. With a diameter of fifty-four metres, the Black Steps are larger than the Temple of Riwaloi.

Performances and games don't take place on a stage, but above the steps in an area that does not seem to be defined to the uninformed visitor. The Flajabai tell us that the pressure of the water tells them how high they are allowed to go.

As a spectator to any kind of performance, you are expected to lie on the steps. There are daily theatre performances and games take place about once a month in addition to those during the festival (see II.3.). Again, researcher were not yet able to discern a pattern.

Please be aware that every member of the audience is expected to participate in the games should a player request it.


   3. Crevice and Gardens

   The crevice and the gardens to the south of Elsestra are the highlight of the natural wonders of the city. Located about half a kilometre from the city proper â€" though it is usually difficult to tell where the city ends because the Flajabai don't have houses but sleep in the open ocean and city walls would be completely superfluous, of course â€" the gardens are the only place in Elsestra where plants are cultivated and animals are kept.

From afar, you are likely to first spot a small hill that seems overgrown with bushes and trees. When you come nearer, though, you soon realise that the bushes are actually coral reefs that are kept in a relatively organised form. The trees on the other hand are indeed underwater trees. As trees go, they are fairly small, just above two metres high, and their leaves are of a green-violet colour that might remind some people of a late autumn day. On their trunks, the same moss grows that gives the Temple of Riwaloi its greenish light. Marine biologists are not aware that similar trees grow anywhere else and the trees have not yet been classified.

The moss's light illuminates the whole gardens because these trees are planted strategically all over the area.

The only exception is the crevice. The chasm is about twenty metres wide and reaches about 260 metres deep. No light reaches the bottom and the Flajabai recommend that visitors stay away from its depths. Apparently, some wilder and more dangerous fishes are kept there.

The first ten metres or so are perfectly safe. There, constantly blossoming flowers grow in small cracks of the walls. The dominant colour of them is red, but you can find blossoms in all colours of the rainbow.

It is strictly forbidden to pick any flowers and no information are yet available if any of them are poisonous.


   4. Wreck of the Christina-Maria

   The Christina-Maria is a Spanish galleon that sank in 1633 in a storm about two kilometres from Elsestra. While not originally part of the culture and architecture of the Flajabai, they have since then began to occupy and use the ship for their own purposes.

Due to the constant maintenance by the Flajabai, the three-master is in an impressive condition. While the wood is slightly rotten, a cover of some kind of lotion has protected it from further decay. The Christina-Maria broke in the storm that originally sank her, but the Flajabai brought the pieces back together, so that it is now possible to swim through the whole wreck and even up into the rigging and the crow's nest. Even the sails still sway in the gentle current around Elsestra.

Nowadays, the Flajabai use the Christina-Maria as some kind of informal meeting place, where they go for some general socialising, as well as meet with our diplomats. They say, that they want us to be comfortable around them, so they try to provide us with a familiar surrounding.

The Flajabai also changed the cargo hold of the ship into a library where they store their writing cloths and come together to read to each other in a less formal setting than the theatre. And while they don't seem to have a formal schooling system, the ship is nonetheless the perfect place for their children to learn, talk and play. For children of the Flajabai, the rigging is as much an adventure playground as it would be to our children.

If you know any sign language, the Christina-Maria is the perfect place to meet some of the Flajabai and to get to know them, maybe even to form a friendship.


IV. Welcome to Elsestra!

   Could we interest you in a trip to Elsestra?

Then book it now and experience an amazing day in this wonderful city! Meet fascinating people, learn about an ancient culture, visit monumental buildings and see hitherto unknown wildlife. The Flajabai will welcome any guest and show them their unimaginable hospitality!

Welcome to Elsestra!



------------------

Notes:
- 2775 words.
- The temple of Poseidon in Paestum  is one of the best preserved temples of the Doric Order.
- The inspiration for the Black Steps comes from the Yonaguni Monument off the Japanese coast. There are not many similarities between the real monument and my creation, though.
- The Christina-Maria is fictional, but you can read up on galleons here.
- I don't know much about sign languages, but I am aware that more than one exists and that they are not interchangeable. I didn't want to give Elsestra a geographic location or the researchers and diplomats a nationality, so I left all references to sign language as vague as possible.

[Baron]

An Account of Atallis

   Ye lords and knights of Wodendom, ye scholars and ye burghers, whomsoever hath learned the art of runic language, and is desirous of knowing the diversities of the races of mankind, read onward.  Your humble servant, the clam merchant Æthelgar, and his sailing companions, having survived the tempests of Thunar in the swells of the Endless àštsjór, and being lost in the windless fogs of a temperate sea for six fortnights, did at last find ourselves wrecked upon the shores of a foreign realm.  And in this island called Atallis therein dwelt a folk of such cunning ingenuity the likes of which I can do no justice by pen alone, though I shall try for the sake of my much travailed and persistent reader.

   We came upon the rocks of their shores by night, our boat being carried by a great bore wave that is frequent in those climes, such that it was smashed verily to pieces.  We the hapless crew would surely have perished in the wreck, but for the great scale of the wave, which left us and the splintered remains of our vessel stranded almost a mile inland.  Having therefore no means of continuing our fraught journey, and half the crew being quite adamant to never again leave the steadiness of shore again, we set about salvaging what we could of our wares and provisions.  For some days we camped in the sodden jungles about the wreck, living mostly off the strange and sundry sea creatures we found stranded in the trees.  But as time went on a great miasmic stench set upon the land, and several of our party fell ill and died.  We survivors were thus driven for fear of our health and haleness into the highlands of the interior.

   Such a sight we were, castaways straggling under the weight of our packs and improvised travois, dressed in nought but rags and sail-canvas, through the mountain trails.  And it was there that we came upon the iron gates, adorned with the giant likenesses of beasts foreign to us, but resembling a lion and a wolf.  To our great dismay these gates were barred to us until our leader, Cynemær, a wine-merchant by trade but a descendent of the noble house of Beorthric, entreated them with gifts and pleasantries to accept us as an embassy from a great and distant empire.  Though none of our party understood a word of their tongue at that time, the Atalli are an inquisitive and generous folk, and by means of gesture and symbolism they came to accept us.

   A word on the Atalli, who are a tall and slender folk of much darker complexion than in our northern climes.  Sashavic the three-fingered oar-slave, who claims to have travelled so far as the Levant and the far flung fringes of Tartary, says that he has never seen folk so tall, such that their heads were as high as we could stretch our arms.  And their eyes seemed larger than ours, giving them a gentle infantile appearance.  But they were far from helpless, for although they seemed to lack all strength of body they were possessed of such ingenious cunning as to render muscle quite useless.  In a day they would not lift a weight heavier than their spoon to feed themselves, nor walk further than a stone's throw, for they had deduced through wisdom and wrought through mechanical skill a solution to all of their daily tribulations.

   Upon acceptance as an embassy we were duly admitted through the iron gate and clothed in the finest textiles of the land.  The Atalli have no knowledge of sheep and wool, and instead dress in the lightest of fabrics that will tear only with the blade of a knife.  In time I was able to connive admittance to one of their webberies, where they harvest the silk of tamed spiders the size of a barrel.  The spiders are trained not only to dispense of their webbing but to weave it as well, which they do diligently for ten hours a day for no more pay than a giant grub to suck dry at the end of their toil, and a safe place for their spiderlings to hatch and grow.  I enquired how it was that the grotesque creatures never turned on their masters, and was told that they sometimes do, but since their venom sacks are removed early in life for use in healing potions, little comes of it.  As a rule, any leg that strikes at its master will be stricken off.  But as my host showed me, though there are a few seven-legged spiders, and the occasional six-legged spider in the works, there are no five-legged spiders.

   Clothed like Saracen princes, we thus embarked on a most wondrous conveyance.  It was a closed wagon armoured all in iron, for in that land they used iron as we might wood, so plentifully does it grow in the fastnesses of their mountains.  And at first we laughed at such lavish waste, for the weight of it was clearly immovable, not by a 100 horses, even if such beasts were known in that land.  But the Atalli have contrived a mechanism not unlike the gears of our clocks which can animate the tools of their existence.  They have a metal, called kapessium, which they work into coils and which can store the power exerted to wind them up, and unleash it when needed in their mechanism.  I have seen their winding-works, where they have harnessed the power of a great waterfall to turn the spent coils, and once torqued they can be redeployed to countless usages.  In our mechanical wagon, thus, the coils of this magnificent metal slowly unwound, turning the clockwork gears and propelling us forward, like a ship of the land, over hill and dell and through tunnels of impossible lengths and bridges of impossible spans until we reached the capital.

   The city, for they have but one in the very centre of the island, far from the destructive waves that frequent their shores, built high upon  a plateau, is the very likeness of a faerie garden.  Here given their teeming population the habitations are stacked one atop the other into great towers some fifty spans high and more, and given the frequent earth-shudders on account of the oppressive heat in those climes, neither wood nor stone nor even iron would survive the stresses of such monumental building.  Instead, the Atalli have combined the wood and iron, building a frame of iron and then enticing a sort of strangler-vine, which normally envelopes its host as it grows, to instead grow about the iron lattice, creating a building of phenomenal strength and durability.  Within these towers they have contrived every manner of convenience, from a levitating platform powered by kapessium, to a floating well that pipes rainfall from the roof through shoots of a wood-like straw to each domicile.  For cooking they have a substance called solarium, which is blacker than night and will not reflect light, which they leave near the glazed wind-eyes of their quarters, and which when struck with a kind of musical fork tuned to the right frequency will release the heat it has absorbed.   And for lighting they keep a kind of worm, which feeds upon their middens, and which when shaken will emit the most intense of glows for several hours at a time, which they suspend from fixtures on their walls and ceilings to dispel the gloom of dusk and night, and return to their feast of slime and rot the next morning.

   Perhaps fearing for the hygiene of his people, for they never seemed to fall ill as we do, the arch-prince of Atallis had us quartered separately in a small home of only 4 tiers, between the market district and his palace.  Nevertheless we were given free reign of the city, and beyond with permission, which was given liberally, so long as we obeyed their laws, which were strictly enforced.  Ceadda the Monk was accused of proselytizing, which is apparently illegal in those parts, and subjected to the punishment of having his buttocks branded shut with a type of red-hot crimping iron.  Typically this procedure results in death from septic fever, but fortunately our first-mate Swain Doubleaxe was happy to undo the operation for him.  Not so fortunate was Wigberht Lackthumb, who was caught stealing in the market, and then had his feet surgically graphed onto the end of his arms, and his hands onto the stumps of his legs.  Nor Swiðhun Oxgirth, who allegedly fondled young children and was hung from his testicles for three days while the kids swung from a barrel suspended from a rope anchored up his ass.  And Pæga Oakenbrügge, who was accused of flirting with a married woman, was bound and forced to lie with a dozen desperate virgins to get thoughts of adultery out of his system, barely survived, although upon reoffending he was sentenced to two dozen even more desperate virgins and died somewhere after seventeen.

   Outside of the entertainment of the law courts, most Atalli were possessed of such leisure time to indulge in the viewing of operatic spectacles in the theatrical houses, or in the baser pursuits of dice and binge-licking.  Wine and beer are unknown to the Atalli, but there exists a passive mid-sized rodent whose tongue, when combined with a certain type of mushroom, produces the most wondrous hallucinogenic sensations.  Now these rodents, slightly larger than a cat, are comparatively rare, and are thus husbanded jealously.  Their front teeth are kept filed almost to the gum, so that when squeezed their tongue shoots out.  Given the varying textures and grains of the tongue it is advisable to invert the rodent, squeeze it, and then lick its tongue upside down, and then chase that with a quick lick of the aforementioned mushroom.  Then one stumbles about in a daze of ecstatic stupor, often laughing inanely like a school maiden, and craving gnawable foodstuffs.  If one tires of this diversion, there is always a sports match going on at the great arena, be it crotch-ball or team pantsing or squid-wrestling.  Often one combines leisure pursuits for greater pleasure.

   The arch-prince, whose name was Pharospeth, was not a hereditary monarch but was elected from amongst the noble families by a strange combination of oratory contest and ritualistic lottery.  After a term of one year there is another simplified election, whereby the arch-prince is voted either up or down by the populous at large.  If he is voted up he ascends to a type of Witan or noble council, from where he governs with other senior figures of the land.  If he is voted down, he is stripped naked, bound, and catapulted from the ramparts.  Either way, the whole process begins anew again.  At any rate, Pharospeth fell victim to popular discontent over a plague of buttock pinching in the market, which his authorities were unable to determine the source of, although some circumstantial evidence showed the impression of only three-fingers on a recent victim.  At any event, during our tenure good Pharospeth fell from grace, and with him went his patronage.  One Sypholius became arch-prince and instantly he whipped up such popular discontent against us that we were compelled to flee the city with a mob on our heels. 

   Life on the lam on Atallis was much less soft and comfortable.  The authorities were equipped with mid-ranged projectiles launched with the aforementioned kapessium and tipped with spider venom, such that its targets were rendered completely paralysed.  This happened to two of our company, who were subsequently captured and whose fate I never learned.  Fortunately the Atalli lack the stamina of we northern barbarians and we were able to out-climb them in the mountains.  On occasion they would try to bombard us from mechanical kites, but the violent air currents at those heights made them prone to crashing and eventually they gave up.  For months we lived on the frigid edge of the mountainside, eating nothing but lichens and bugs made slothful in the chilly air, sleeping rough in a cave and occupying our minds with a circular song that went on and on and on.  And then at length there was a great earth-shuddering, which brought the mountain peak down to the level of the sea, presumably submerging the whole Atallic civilization in the process.  And this great movement of the earth produced yet another bore-wave, which brought another hapless ship to the shore, the crew of which we pantsed like the professionals we had witnessed in the arena, and then stole their boat, which is how we came to arrive back at these shores with no tangible proof of our great adventure.

[JudasFm]

No more entries and a huge thank you to our three entrants!

Voting is open from now until Sunday 5th July. Categories are:

-Most Believable World
-Most Interesting World
-Best Writing Technique
-Most Informative Entry

By the way, I'd really appreciate it if someone would let me know if there's a standard time zone here. I'm in Japan which means my midnight on Sunday is a lot of other people's 2-3pm, which is why I haven't been 100% rigid on the time.

Let the voting commence!

[Mandle]

ARGH!!! Ran out of time on my entry, but that's okay...I have it saved to a text file and will probably continue to work on it and release it as a game in these forums at some point in the future. I'm just enjoying creating the weird world of the Ultrarealms too much to rush it out in a less-than-worthy version...

So thanks to JudasFM for the contest and for starting me on the journey...My entry will stand uncomplete as it is. I won't update it in this thread but stay tuned for the full adventure at some point in the future, whenever I feel strange enough to continue writing it basically, and luckily I feel strange quite often...

[JudasFm]

I really hope you do continue it in some form. I want to keep exploring the Ultrarealms with my faithful Pet Rock

[Baron]

Most Believable World Sinitrena.  Her detailed account of Flajabai society makes it seem almost real.

Most Interesting World This one was very hard for me to decide, but I think Sinitrena wins out again.  Obviously Mandle's ULTRAREALMS is more surrealistically stimulating, but it's almost so beyond human comprehension that it transcends the "interesting" category.   Sinitrena, on the other hand, has wrought a vivid description of a whole civilization down to the most fascinating detail.
   
Best Writing Technique I've got to give this to Mandle - the text-adventure/choose-your-own-adventure format was a bold choice that heightened the stakes of visiting his surrealistic ULTRAREALMS.  But also his turn of phrase in describing ULTRAREALMS bordered on the poetic.   

Most Informative Entry Clearly Sinitrena, by dint of format as well as the close observation of her mind's eye.

I was quite impressed with both entries, and lamented the fact that Mandle was unable to finish his entry (even the last few options of what he did write, apparently... ).  I also felt that Sinitrena's entry ended rather abruptly, and was shocked to learn that she almost maxed-out her words (it certainly didn't feel long!).  So a huge bravo to both entrants: if leaving the reader wanting more was a category I would have to vote for both of you!

[Sinitrena]

Most Believable World Baron

Most Interesting World Mandle - It's really unfortunate that you didn't show us more of your world because I'm sure a lot of interessting things would happen in a few sentences. But that you wrote it as a chose-your-own-adventure added greatly to the immersion. (And I love that I ended up with a pet rock; that's so cute - although I would really like to know if it is benevolent or malevolent.)

Best Writing Technique Baron - It reads very much like an actual account of a stranded sailor. Very well done.

Most Informative Entry Baron - Laws, entertainment, clothes, physical features, architacture, politics - we get some details on nearly every aspect of a strange culture. What I missed a bit were the reasons why things are as they are: For example, why are the laws so harsh? But the information that are missing are due to the perspectiv of the narrator, so I don't really mind.


Mandle, I do hope you finish "JOURNEY INTO TO THE ULTRAREALMS" one day. I'd love to read the rest.

[kconan]

Mandle, I couldn't do the "skirt around the village" option so I guessed it was part of the continuation.

Most Believable World: This was darn close, but gotta go with Baron.
Most Interesting World: Mandle, and I wanted to learn more about the ULTRAREALMS.  Baron's Attallis is a cool spot as well.
Best Writing Technique: Baron for lines like "Clothed like Saracen princes, we thus embarked on a most wondrous conveyance."
Most Informative Entry: Has to be Sinitrena for travelogue on everything like religion, geography, monuments, traditions, etc...

[Mandle]

(And I love that I ended up with a pet rock; that's so cute - although I would really like to know if it is benevolent or malevolent.)

As would I...Time will tell...I do not plan to abandon this project. It will reappear in its own thread soonish, provided that I am still a live organism on what we call Earth...

[JudasFm]

Last chance to vote, for those of you who haven't already

[kconan]

It seems like there should be at least one more voter...

[JudasFm]

That's it! Voting is over, the results are in and boy was it close, with only one vote between each entrant

First place, with five votes: Baron
I really loved the combination of Gulliver's Travels style writing with the humorous inserts; your piece made me laugh out loud at times and that's never a bad thing

Second place, with four votes: Sinitrena
This was a well-crafted and well thought out piece. I especially liked the picture of Flajabai writing and the poem.

Third place, with three votes: Mandle
I loved the idea of making it into an interactive exploration. Plus, I got a pet rock out of it It's such a shame you weren't able to finish it. I really hope you continue this at some point.

With that, the Travel Guide contest is officially CLOSED. The next contest will be run by Baron, and I'm looking forward to entering