Fortnightly Writing Competition - Faustian Bargain (Results)

[kconan]

  Everyone wants something...and what if there was a "shortcut" to getting that something?  Perhaps that shortcut comes at a sinister cost, which begs the question, does the end justify the means?

Rules:
-> Anything goes storywise as long as a pact with a literal or a figurative devil is made
-> Short story, not a sketch story, so at least 500 words
-> Deadline is Wednesday, July 12th

The voting categories will be:

Best Bargain:
Best Devil:
Best Setting/World:
Best Writing/Style:


There will be tailored trophies for the top three.  I'm taking your forum avatar head, shrinking it, and adding gold, silver, or rusty tin colored horns.

[Mandle]

Why the 500 words line in the sand?

Doesn't that just discourage people who have a quick and simple, but potentially good, idea and/or encourage them to pad their story just to reach that limit?

It's not a school assignment...

[kconan]

Why the 500 words line in the sand?

Doesn't that just discourage people who have a quick and simple, but potentially good, idea and/or encourage them to pad their story just to reach that limit?

It's not an assignment like something required for school, it's an optional competition and this round is for short stories and not simply ideas alone or sketch stories.  I could see people trying to pad for 1500 or 2000 words, but 500 isn't a tall order.

[kconan]

Right now Mandle and I are tied on votes for the 500 word stipulation, if another entrant wants me to drop it then please speak up and I will waive it.

[Frodo]

Right now Mandle and I are tied on votes for the 500 word stipulation, if another entrant wants me to drop it then please speak up and I will waive it.

I say Keep that stipulation 

Have an idea I'm working on. 

[Rocchinator]

I`m inspired. I`m writing something.

[Baron]

I want a 497 word limit, just to be difficult.  What if brevity is our devil?

[Mandle]

I want a 497 word limit, just to be difficult.

I support your bill and amend to it an NC-17 rating on any story containing 399 swear words or more!

[Ponch]

I reserve the right to use the word "fuck" at least twice and/or include an explicit and unnecessary sex scene. Also, I will hold fast to 499 words and cannot be swayed on this issue.

Also, are these bargains with the devil Kconan our FWC entries? That will certainly save a lot of time.

[kconan]

Also, are these bargains with the devil Kconan our FWC entries? That will certainly save a lot of time.

I'm gonna need more asterisk trophies...

[Rocchinator]

ADVISE: My main language its spanish, so its probable that my writing will have lots of errors. Sorry about that.
I wrote this between yesterday and today. Hope you all enjoy.

Lucky Number 3



-…So do you really want this? - The dark figure approaches from mist of the night

-Who are you? I can't see your face, IDENTIFY YOURSELF! OR I SHOOT! â€" Eric pulled out a gun from his pocket and pointed to the unknown man.

-Guns are loaded by the Devil, and I know I didn't load that one- a small grin appear on the figure face.

Eric freezes for a brief second he knows he was right, and then he laughed â€" Ha-ha-ha! Funny jokes Dennis come to the light so I can see your stupid face- He reclined on the bench and taps the space next to him, asking the man to join a seat. The mysterious man stayed in the dark and the crickets singed along with the silence.

It was a cold winter night, so there was no one more than them in the park; the only light was an old lamplight that was placed on the right of the bench.

-You really don't want to see me, I will save you the shock. - said the figure while he stayed still.

-So you are a spooky man, haha, whatever… What you want?-

-You called me, I should ask that question.-

-I didn`t called you, I don't even know who you are.-

-oh no you don't, mister “I will do anything to stay with her”. - Goosebumps came down through Eric spine.

-How do you know that? I wasn't talking out loud- he started to get nervous.

-I'm a special man let`s say I have really good hearing-

-Are you the Devil? - Eric tried to stay calm.

-Devil, Dark Angel, Mephistopheles, Demon… but none of them it's my real name.- He walked around the dark fog.- But let`s go straight to business. You really love your wife Caroline don't you?-

-You are not gonna get me. I will not give you my soul; I know it's that what you want. - Eric answered confidently â€" Eternal pain and suffering... I'm not that stupid.-

-Humans, humans, humans, you really think it's like that how it works? - The figure smiled and the moonlight shows his inhuman teeth for the first time. - I don't care about your soul, but what it can produce. I can offer you something that you maybe can be interested in. How much time do you have?-

-The doctors said about 6 months, pancreas cancer it's a bastard.-said Eric while he lighted a cigarette.- Ok, If you don't want my soul what is that you need?.

-It`s your wife pregnant isn`t it?-The Demon looks at Eric eyes for the first time. His eyes were black… entirely black. Eric swallowed and felt a fear that he never experienced before.

-Yes… but why you ask.-He was scared of the answer he knows it wasn't a good thing.

-I will explain, before a human it's born, during the gestation his soul starts to get form and it's in his more pure state, in this instance it can be manipulated, and that's like gold for me, the soul isn't property of the baby yet but his father so if you give me the power I can became its owner, and then I can offer you life to live with your beloved wife but sadly the child will die.-

-What!? I can't do that, we are waiting for this child for so long and we love him, you are really a monster, I prefer to die, stay away for me! - Eric stands up and angrily pointed the devil.

-Think it this way, this baby is not going to suffer because he will never “exist”, I just need his essence, you can always have another baby and I can give you eternal life if you want.- answered the Demon in a polite way.

-So If I give you his soul he will not suffer. - Said Eric carefully thinking about it- But I don`t understand, don't we both have to give you the approval to get our son`s soul?-

-No, even thought the mother is the one carrying and sheltering the baby, the father creates the very first vital force. So you are the owner. - The Devil explained.

Eric meditates about it some seconds.

-Well but I want to you to give eternal life to my wife too, my heaven it`s whit her and my only desire is to love her forever. If you really want that soul that it's the price- He said firmly.

The Devil Smiled.

-You are a really good Business man, very well it's a deal, let`s shake hands.- He raise his old white hand towards to Eric.-I have to admit the seal its gonna hurt a little.-

-But don't I have to sign a contract?-

-Another miss conception. - The Devil laughed and they both shake hands. Eric felt his hand burning and shouted. After closing his eyes for a brief second the Demon was no longer there and he had a red mark in his hand but suddenly his pains, the color of his skin, his fever, started to recover and he felt more alive than ever. The joy was extraordinary, this was a miracle for him; he went back running towards his home.

Years pass by, and another cold winter night, same park, same bench, Eric was sitting looking into the darkness, his eyes were red of crying and his face looked tired.

-Long Time no see. â€" The Devil appears from the dark and started the conversation.

-432 years to be exact, I've been waiting for you, coming here every night since the things messed up.- said Eric almost with no energy.-Please, take me to hell, nothing can be worst than this. At first it was all magical, but know my wife hates me, we have seen all our sons, grandson, die for generations, our love has vanished, she curse me every time she can, she only cries, scream and tried to kill herself so many times that I can't count anymore. Everyone ignores me, my sons detest me.  I live in constant pain, depression, suffering and guilt, please, please take me too hell. I deserve it and I prefer it. â€" He begged with their hands in prayer.

-I can't take you to hell.-

-Why? WHY!? Please anything it's better that this! - Eric shouted in agony.

-You don't get it don't you? You are already in it, and you created it yourself. You think that if I gave eternal life for both of you, you will never die so no one can go to “hell” and I will be tricked, hahaha!, please you dig your own grave, metaphorically speaking because you can't die. - The devil took his time to laugh out loud. - There`s no such this as hell. I fed from souls negative energy let's say the emotions, suffering, pain, anger, disgrace are fuel to me so you are an active unlimited resource… well you, your wife, and your unborn son, lucky number 3. I don't need a hell I build cells, it been a pleasure doing business with you my sheep.-

- PLEASE GOD, HELP ME! - While shouting Eric fall on his knees and looked at sky tried to cry but no more tear were left.

-Why should I…- Said the Demon he smiled once last time, and vanished in the dark mist of the night.



THE END

[Mandle]

One Last Deal

I sit in my office behind the desk constructed from a little here and a little there of the iron content of the blood of every person who has ever lived. The desk glows red hot and I caress its surface with my taloned hands fondly. Ahhhh, red, what a beautiful colour. I look around to admire the dripping, red walls of my office for what is to be the last time. My eyes linger on the heads of past deal-makers, impaled on pikes in quaint little alcoves littered around the walls. All are still screaming, but not for much longer.

The hour grows closer. Hanging over the entrance door, woven from a billion human tendons so finely it could be mistaken for the finest mahogany, the clock ticks the hair from the head of Judas that is its second hand one notch closer to the top. I stretch in my chair, a collage of the genitals of the lustful, sewn together with the thread from the coin-purses of the greedy. My ancient spine cracks in just the right way to send a shiver of pleasure from my hooves to my horns.

The second hand ticks again, to the thirteen right at the top and, God-damn perfect as always, the doors open and God walks in exactly on time for our meeting.

Now, you might think that we would immediately try to destroy each other the moment we met face-to-face, but there is a little clause those tabloid rags that humanity calls by many names left out: Our "supernatural" powers do not work on each other.

So, as God approaches my desk, walking over the rug woven from the dried, extruded entrails of the gluttonous, in the many glorious colours of their extreme consumption, and without His feet ever touching what must offend Him to the core of His sanctimonious  being, I fold my many, many fingers together in front of me, smile, and say:

"lOng TImE nO SEe!"

He doesn't even crack a smile. No sense of humour. I conjour a chair for him made from the various bodily humors of the worst examples of his failed creations. I think one of their names perhaps started with an "H".

Whether he got the joke or not, he says:

"I PREFER TO STAND!"

So, straight to boring old business I suppose, as is usual with Him. I say:

"yOU cOMe Here wItH a dEaL?"

He booms:

"YOUR ATROSITIES HAVE FORCED MY HAND! SO..."

I interrupt:

"wHAt'S tHE fucKInG dEAl, kINg sHit!?"

His "divine" features almost twist into one of my faves: Wrath, but then he regains his composure and amplifies:

"A FINAL CONTRACT TO END ALL SUFFERING ON EARTH THAT YOU ARE THE CAU..."

I love interrupting this guy:

"cHIll, biLL... conTrAct'S aLReaDY WRItTeN. PERuse aT ThiNE cUNtISH leisuRe..."

The contract I have been slaving over for millenia unrolls itself from the oriface in my blotter pad torn and resewn from the rectums of uncountable sexual predators.

He spends the next few revolutions of Judas' hair perusing the document, and then sound barriers:

"AS IT IS WRITTEN, SO SHALL IT BE DONE!"

And then the universe's creator and ultimate dumbass actually summons a quill of finest angel feather and signs his real name right on the line dotted with the squished fleas that carried the Black Death.

I say:

"ThIne diVInE brillIANce dID of course rEAd cLAusE FiFTEen BILLiON TwO HuNDRed milliOn ThReE hundRED tHOusANd NiNE huNDReD ANd FivE?"

He shockwaves:

"IT IS REGRETTABLE, BUT ONE HUMAN LIFE IS ACCEPTABLE TO PREVENT THE SUFFERING OF BILLIONS FOR THE REST OF TIME! NAME THY SACRIFICE AND THEY SHALL BE ERASED FOREVER FROM EXISTAN..."

I love interrupting this guy, again. It never gets old:

I fold my many, many, many fingers just under my goatee and say, in my own one true voice this time:

Spoiler

"Adam."

[close]

[Mandle]

I just read Rocchinator's story and it was AWESOME!!!

And I promise that the line

Spoiler

Long time no see

[close]

was not stolen from his story. In fact, I was amazed that two stories with similar themes but seperates naratives would have the same key phrase...

And also:

To write a story that good and not in your native language... AMAZING!!!

[kconan]

To write a story that good and not in your native language... AMAZING!!!

He's coming off fresh background blitz and coloring ball wins, and now he's gunning for the writing comp.  We get it Rocchinator, you are multi-talented

I assume he will enter the music competition next.  The only way I'll ever step foot in that thread is if there is a beatboxing themed round.

[Rocchinator]

@Mandle Thanks Pal really apreciate it! i just read yours, good call with the deal betwwen god and the devil and great end. I really enjoyed you story, the description of the room was sublime i want to draw it

@kconan hahaha! I don't know if I'm multi talented It`s that I just like this forum a lot, I love the expresions of arts in all its forms, drawing, composing music, writing etc. and of course making games .  This is my antistress activity to detach from work and all day problems. I will love to make a living from this, one day, but my family thinks that it's a waste of time , so this is a little secret that im sharing with you guys hahaha.

[Baron]

Six more days....  Six, six, six....    My soul for some inspiration!  Or, barring that, a really good jelly doughnut.

[kconan]

  I know you have something rolling around in that pith helmeted noggin of yours. 

  When the deadline looms, I can grant a small extension...for a price.

[Blondbraid]

Six more days....  Six, six, six....    My soul for some inspiration!  Or, barring that, a really good jelly doughnut.

I have just the opposite problem, two very different ideas and I just can't decide between them!

[Frodo]

Wow, Rocchinator's story is just AMAZING!   

Eric's dream of staying with his true love... turning into his own private hell! 

Excellent writing, there! 

[Rocchinator]

@Frodo Thanks Pal glad you liked it