Fortnightly Writing Competition - CONCRETE POETRY: FESTIVE EDITION (Winner!)

Sinitrena · Sun 29/11/2015 17:21:44

Hello and welcome to a brand new Fortnightly Writing Competition!

This time around, we'll try something a bit different.

Concrete Poetry is a form of poetry where the visual element is as important as the words, or, as Wikipedia puts it:

QuoteConcrete, pattern, or shape poetry is poetry in which the typographical arrangement of words is as important in conveying the intended effect as the conventional elements of the poem, such as meaning of words, rhythm, rhyme, and so on.

It is sometimes referred to as visual poetry, a term that has come to have distinct meaning of its own, but which shares the distinction of being poetry in which the visual elements are as important as the text.

The easiest kind of concrete poetry are texts that are arranged in the shape of the meaning of the words they use:

Apfel by Reinhard Dohl (1965)
[Apfel is german for apple; Wurm means worm.]

The most common form is probably the kind where the text is just arranged in a way to follow the shape, disregarding length of words:

A more difficult kind is where length of words and verses is more or less followed and creates the intended shape almost automaticly:

Die Trichter by Christian Morgenstern (1905)
(This one actually rhymes as well.)

[Translation found here:

The Funnels

A funnel ambles through the night. [it should be two funnels; it's still a good translation...]
Within its body, moonbeams white
converge as they
descend upon
its forest
pathway
and
so
on]
(Sorry for the formating of the translation. This should also give you a hint that it's better to post pictures in this round.)

And last but not least, there's the most abstract kind where words don't seem to exist anymore:

Fisches Nachtgesang (Night Song of Fish) by Christian Morgenstern (1905)

So, I think you can imagine why I showed you all this? That's right! This time around I want you to write a piece of concrete poetry. Whether it is just a single word or a whole story, a poem with rhymes and rhythm or no words in the classic sense at all - that's all up to you, as long as the connection between the words and the shape is strong (and don't write a text and add a picture to it, that's not what this is about). And because we're in the festive season, it should have something to do with this: a snowflake, a christmas tree, a candle, etc. - it's up to you.

(As mentioned above, it's probably best to post all entries as pictures, so that the forum doesn't screw up the formating.)

The voting categories will reflect this unusual kind of poetry. We'll have the following:

Text: If you remove all visual elements, does the text still mean something? Is it well written, in a good style? Does it tell a story?
Shape: If you remove the language element, is it a good and interesting picture? How well is the artistic execution? This is the category for all visual elements.
Correlation: How well do text and shape fit together? Does the text add to the picture? Does the picture add to the text?

As you can see, writing and art are equally important this time around.

I hope I didn't scare you off and see a lot of poems in this Fortnightly Writing Competition - it's easier than you might think.

Deadline: 14. December.

Happy writing!

Sane Co. · Thu 03/12/2015 07:46:47

This is my entry:

It is what it is.
[imgzoom]http://i.imgur.com/dpzkSqN.jpg?2[/imgzoom]
Here's a link to the high res?
Is it here.

Sinitrena · Mon 07/12/2015 09:34:40

Thank you so much, Sane Co., for being the first (and hopefully not the last) to accept this challange.

(see, they are easy; not an entry, obviously)

ONe week left, guys!

selmiak · Fri 11/12/2015 13:38:31

If only I had an idea that would be
clever...

Sinitrena · Sun 13/12/2015 18:11:38

Look! There are trophies:

Now get your last minute entries in.

Ibispi · Sun 13/12/2015 18:31:02

EDIT: done as you asked! : )

: )

Sinitrena · Sun 13/12/2015 22:31:28

@Ibispi Thank you for your entry. But I think you should consider posting it as a picture. It looks fine from my laptop but on my tablet, the formatting is completley botched.

selmiak · Mon 14/12/2015 00:39:59

put it into pictures you say...

Spoiler

[close]

Baron · Tue 15/12/2015 04:16:01

Just barely beating the deadline this time:

Spoiler

[close]

MiteWiseacreLives! · Tue 15/12/2015 04:34:11

Those last two entries are something else! Selmiak's could be put into print and hung on office and high school library walls immediately! Although Baron's makes has teh drawings of my soles into inside teh univurse and nuthing at wunce

selmiak · Tue 15/12/2015 13:47:34

baron dis is teh brulliantz. Does he haves teh clockwoerkings orenges eyebrowez? Redingz dis makez my headdiez teh dizzyiez

Adeel · Tue 15/12/2015 14:34:26

Quote from: MiteWiseacreLives! on Tue 15/12/2015 04:34:11
Those last two entries are something else! Selmiak's could be put into print and hung on office and high school library walls immediately!

Highly agree!

Quote from: selmiak on Mon 14/12/2015 00:39:59
put it into pictures you say...
Spoiler
[close]

You should consider selling this, mein freund!

Sinitrena · Tue 15/12/2015 15:15:46

So many compliments already and we haven't even started voting yet. Well, let's remedy this, shall we?

Our entries, in order of appearence, are:

Sane Co. with It is what it is.
Ibispi with Smile or Die
selmiak with If only I had an idea that would be clever...
Baron with It is comgings without candies

(Some titels provided by your host because our artists didn't give us any.)

As a reminder, here are the voting categories for this round:

Text: If you remove all visual elements, does the text still mean something? Is it well written, in a good style? Does it tell a story?
Shape: If you remove the language element, is it a good and interesting picture? How well is the artistic execution? This is the category for all visual elements.
Correlation: How well do text and shape fit together? Does the text add to the picture? Does the picture add to the text?

You have one vote per category and all your votes must be in by the end of 20. December.

JudasFm · Tue 15/12/2015 15:38:02

For once, this was easy for me to decide

Text: selmiak
Shape: selmiak
Correlation: selmiak

kconan · Tue 15/12/2015 16:18:21

Text: Selmiak
Shape: Baron
Correlation: Selmiak

selmiak · Tue 15/12/2015 17:38:21

Text: Ibispi ... I like my own text but from the others I can hear some psycho shouting these words at me and they echo in my ear, so there you go... closely followed by harpooning a spooning sailors

Shape: Baron
Correlation: Baron

Adeel · Wed 16/12/2015 14:39:39

Splendid entry by selmiak. Didn't even need to think twice about this.

Text: selmiak
Shape: selmiak
Correlation: selmiak

Ponch · Wed 16/12/2015 15:25:49

Text: selmiak
Shape: Baron
Correlation: Baron

Sane Co. · Wed 16/12/2015 16:40:24

Text: Selmiak
Shape: baron
Correlation: selmiak

selmiak · Wed 16/12/2015 19:16:54

Quote from: Adeel on Wed 16/12/2015 14:39:39
Splendid entry by selmiak. Didn't even need to think twice about this.

Text: selmiak
Shape: selmiak
Correlation: selmiak

*covertly hands over the secretly agreed upon bribe*

ppl, vote for baron or so, I have no idea how to host a writing competition and the silver trophy looks like a mix between a panda and a cute dog...